Mother's Day...

For some women this day is a wonderful, anticipated celebration.  For other's it's just another form of torture.  I often wonder who came up with this curious day.  One in which celebrates the unique club of those rearing children.  I'm sure he didn't envision single women wanting desperately to be mom's, married women unable to have children, women who have lost children or women and their guilt of being less of a mother than "so & so"!  In the past, Mother's Day has been another day of unfulfilled expectations and frustration.  I put my heart and soul into mothering.  There isn't anything I've worked harder at and felt more failure with.  It's a day that is suppose to be all about mom.  So, they make you breakfast in bed but leave the mess for you to  clean up.  The gifts are more about them than you.  And Ryan, more often than not, leaves for work.  Which means lunch and a nap then off he goes.  Over the years I've come to accept mother's day as just another typical Sunday.   Like today, Porter was pouting when I sat down in the pew.  Victoria was throwing a fit.  Isabelle has poison ivy & it's itchy.  The kids argue about who gets to give me their gift last.  I cook lunch.  Ryan takes a nap.  The kids play.   I fall asleep & Ryan leaves.  I wake up to a kitchen of chefs reenacting the TV show Chopped.  The timer is counting down & their creations are coming together.  I taste their unique food, we read scriptures, say prayers and it's off to bed.  All in all a good Mother's Day.  I've come to accept that kids are kids.  They don't magically become happy selfless creatures because someone deemed the 2nd Sunday in May Mother's Day!  I've thought a lot of what a mother is and does.  It's interesting who I become as I embrace this selfless, submissive role.  It's more about who I am becoming and what I am choosing to learn than what my kids are or aren't doing.  I am amazed at the example God has set in teaching me and loving me.  If I will only follow His example in parenting I will be able to say, "I did my best." and leave the rest in His hands.  He has given everything He has for me.  He loves me when I am kicking against the pricks and making stupid decisions.  He is always there waiting with a listening ear and open arms.  When  chastisement comes it's always accompanied with unconditional love.  I am amazed at what He is able to teach me if I open my heart and listen.  The world screams of "me" time and being fulfilled.  I am realizing "me" time is the time I spend in the scriptures, in prayer and at the temple.  These are times that give my Heavenly Father the opportunity to truly fill me.  I am my Father's daughter.  I have worth beyond that which this world offers.  He has blessed me with the unique opportunity to become like Him through this curious role of mother.  

Beverly Jean Adamson

1. Best cook both sides of the Mississippi!

2. Doctor, Nurse, Professor, Accountant, Lawyer, Real Estate Agent, Counselor, Physical Therapist

3. Loving, Kind, Compassionate, Selfless, Charitable

4. STRONG, Hard working, Undefeatable 

5. The best mother I could ask for.  

Mom,

I love you.  Your influence will be felt throughout generations.  Thanks for loving me and being the person you are.  Bart asked us to share a few thoughts about you for a talk he was giving...

I never left the house without an "I love you" & kiss.  A tradition my kids would say has been passed on.  

Casey loves having you stay in his room because you'll always rub his feet.  

You constantly remind me to grab my kids, squeeze them and tell them I love them.

So much of what I did as a young mom originated from what you did with us as kids, quiet time, story time, early bedtimes, dinners as a family, hugs and kisses galore, your infamous junk baskets, do your best no matter the job, etc.

You taught me to trust in the Lord, He will always provide.  Never think twice about paying your tithing.  There isn't anything too small to pray about, He cares about what you care about.  Look for the positive and you will find it.

I hope you know how much you are loved.  I am sorry for ruining more than my fair share of Mother's Days!  You are the best.

love,

Jonnette

Why we love our mom...

1. She loves me
2. She wakes me up for seminary every morning, then takes me to seminary
3. She is kind
4. She comforts me
5. She packs my lunch
 Sam


1.  She tucks me in at night
2. She helps me with work
3. She takes me places
4. She teaches me about money
5. She is a good example
 Casey


1. She is kind
2. She is happy
3. She teaches me
4. She comforts me
5. She loves me
 Rebekah


1. She scratches my back
2. She takes me where I need to go
3. She helps me get ready for school
4. She loves me
5. She plays with me
 Izy



1. She snuggles me 
2. She makes yummy food 
3. She takes me places 
4. She plays with me 
5. She does scouts with me 
 Porter


1. She makes us dinner
2. She picks me up from school
3. She lets my friends come over
4. She reads scriptures
5. She tucks me in at night
 Tori

Happy Mothers Day!
Love, SCRIPT

Last week started Monday morning at 4AM and didn't end until Saturday night at 11:30 when Ryan climbed in bed with me.
Monday: Pies, Victoria's field trip, Izy's concert, Mrs. Neal's 5 days of Teacher Appreciation begin.
Tuesday: Rebekah's field trip, Piano lessons, Sam's soccer game, Varsity concession stand assignment
Wednesday: Porter's field trip, Acupuncture appointment(St. Joe), Mother/Daughter Activity
Thursday: Izy's field trip, Babysit cute kids so mom can attend a field trip, Sam's last soccer game, Victoria's Kindergarten celebration, engagement party.
Friday: Paxton Field Day, more pies, Father/Son camp-out, baby shower.
Saturday: Dog obedience class, more pies, Saturday cleaning, 4 mile run with 6 kids on roller blades, bike and scooters, Psych.

I am happy to report we survived last week with little or no major explosions!  Thursday was the real kicker.  The day went well then the evening hit.  I picked up the kids and we grabbed sonic slushies before Sam's game.  5PM we are all enjoying the game.  5:35 Half-time, Victoria & I slip out to attend her Kindergarten celebration... don't get me started!  Why on earth do we celebrate completion of their first of  MANY, MANY years of formal education?!  But first, I needed to drop off a salad and dessert(basket of Easter candy!) for the later engagement party we will be attending.  We are driving back to the school when the car slows then completely dies.  I am coasting down 4th street.  Thankfully I am coasting down hill.  We pull off on a side street and stop.  Victoria and I jump out and start hoofing it to the school.  She is a trooper!  She even asks if we should jog.  A friend passes us, they circle around and we jump in(without asking)!  They are going to the K celebration also.  We start walking back to the soccer game in hopes to catch the last few minutes.  Uncle Kasey meets us and drives us back.  We walk in the last 35 seconds.  Jeanie gives us her van and we make our way to the engagement party.  The kids have a blast playing outside in the beautiful weather.  Ryan arrives from work with the truck.  Jeanie takes the kids to her house while Ryan tows me to the mechanics.  We drop the car, pick up the kids and get everyone in bed around 10pm.  The next morning on our way to school I see Porter's dirty knees then Victoria's and Isabelle's!  There was a small explosion... we drive to Jeanie's for a quick sponge bath.  As we are driving down 4th street to school Victoria cheerfully asks, "Do you want to walk to school again?  We can park the car, it will be fun."  

Our school district has 5 schools...  PCHS, PCMS(6-8), Paxton(4-5), Seigrist(1-3) & Rising Star(K).  I have kids in every school this year.  That means I have 5 schools emailing me plus NUMEROUS teachers with updates, reminders and Friday Reports.  Most of which I don't read.  I get through the folders, right before I send the kiddos back to school!  Thankfully, they are pretty responsible and take care of any homework after school.  I would be in SO much trouble if they were as forgetful as their mother!  The other day a note came home with Victoria.  It talked about the SAT10 testing coming up and asked for 2 notes to put on their desks during testing.  You know, to boost their confidence and calm nerves.  I put it in my to do pile.  They were suppose to be sent in by Monday.  I hand delivered them on Wednesday, testing was almost finished!  With a huge apology for being a very lame Kindergarten mom.  I cannot wait for this year to be over.  I want summer!  No more notes or emails or anything I can forget and feel guilty about.  

Casey has been helping with a little 4 year old boy.  He put his pay in his pocket then continued to play outside with him.  When he got home he couldn't find his money.  He also misplaced his previous pay.  We looked everywhere and called the mom to see if it had fallen out of his pocket, no such luck!  It was gone.  He lost it.  He was rolled up in my covers squealing on my bed.  He was loosing it!  It was mutual night and they were going to shoot shotguns.  I knew he would be so upset if he missed it.  However, he was to the point of no return.  What tends to follow is a crazy irrational flow of yelling, crying and fit throwing.  Ryan had to leave, I only had 5 minutes to work some sort of magic... I rub his back and tell him I'll give him the money.  I reassure him it was a good lesson to learn but I won't make him loose the pay he earned.  I'll give him the money this time.  Next time make sure it's safe.  I tell him to look for the positive, that money was probably a huge blessing for someone.  They probably really needed it.  Surprisingly, he started to come around.  He decided to go shooting.  But he WAS NOT going to the cultural celebration practice.  As he walks out the door I yell the cheesiest, "Listen to the Holy Ghost.  He'll help you!"  I have been trying to get Casey to embrace the idea of really listening for the Holy Ghost.  He is my only hope for this boy.  If I can get him to just listen, he will be fine.  He loves to have fun and laugh.  However, that gets him into mischief!  As long as he can listen and hear the Holy Ghost he'll stay out of any real trouble.  The rest I'll have to take in stride and get use to the many reprimands that I am positive will come.  

My mom always said you can't make anyone do anything, no matter how much you try or how loud you yell!  It's been a roller coaster week with Sam, a few too many hormones flyin' around this house this week.  I've gotten a lot of practice with patience, slowing to anger & long suffering.  I am realizing Sam & I are SO a like in not so good ways.  Mornings for instance, we hate them!  Neither of us function at 5AM. After 40 years I am finally listening to my mom and being still!  It's paying off.  This morning Sam was frustrated and running late.  She has had an unbelievable schedule these past few weeks.  Talk about overload!  Seminary, school, soccer, temple celebration, etc.  Everyday has multiple things going on.  She is physically and emotionally exhausted.  She comes home, eats, does homework and heads to bed.  She hasn't had time to do her laundry and didn't have anything to wear, or so she felt.  She walked into the kitchen at 5:30AM, sat in the middle of the floor and started crying.  Because I am finally learning to be still and could I possibly have acquired a smidgen of patience...  she let me sit with her and rub her back.  It's the sweetest moments as her mother when she leans into my arms needing to be comforted and loved.  She is such a strong, independent, closed person.  She's not one to share a lot let alone, breakdown.  She's learning that I really do love her and that she can trust me to always love her, no matter what!

Today is over, and tomorrow is about to begin.  The dishes are still in the sink, Casey is in my bed, Ryan is working nights and I have piles of laundry!  But, Porter was all smiles about his books from the book fair, we watched Sam play soccer (& win), Izy was REALLY proud of her conservation poster, Casey feels important, Victoria told me she loved me 3 times tonight & Rebekah's cultural celebration outfit is ready.  All in all, I think that constitutes a successful day!  

What a day...  The short version... 5AM alarm sounds.  Drop Sam at seminary while Rebekah & Casey hop a ride with Cinda to the temple, all at 6AM.  Back home climb back in bed for a quick snooze.  Izy, Porter and Tori are up & getting ready for school.  I am packing lunches & trying to clean up.  We all jump in the car and head to school.  I get Victoria out of the car & she has a DIRTY shirt on!  I put her on the bus, drop Izy & Porter at school then run to Jeanie's to borrow a shirt.  The tears start flowing.  I have no idea why I have 6 kids.  We were taking a break after Isabelle!  I don't think I would have had anymore if we had gotten the break we planned.  But there were other plans & so I have 6 kids... 6 kids that need way more than I am able to give them.  Like a bath for instance & clean clothes!  Did I mention her hands were dirty too?  I'm not the typical Kindergarten mom at this point.  Most these moms are sending their 1st, maybe 2nd child to school.  They are so much more attentive and their kid probably gets a bath everyday!  They surely don't send them to school in dirty clothes!  I walk into the school with red puffy eyes, trying not to make eye contact with anyone.  I find Victoria in the hall getting a drink & going to the bathroom.  She grabs the shirt and tells me she can do it herself.  I follow her.  After changing and making her wash her hands twice she asks, "Why did you do that?"  "Do what?" I ask.  "Why did you make me nervous?"  "Nervous?  What do you mean?"  She says, "Like when Dad sang at my concert.  He made me nervous."  "Oh," I say, "You mean embarrassed?"  "Yes!  Embarrassed!"  She isn't embarrassed to come to school in dirty clothes and hands but is embarrassed I would come into the bathroom with her.  She is my first kid that does NOT want me around!  I leave the school and the tears start again.  I go for a run and just breath.  I am so overwhelmed with life.  My allergies are a nightmare, Ryan is working ALL the time, if he isn't working he is at Scouts or with the young men from church.  I feel as if life is screaming by and I can't get a grip.  Soccer ends on Saturday for Rebekah, Izy & Porter.  I'm sure throwing that out of the mix will help.  I finish my run & jump in the shower, I have to be at the Temple Open House in an hour to work as a tour guide.  At that point it is the last thing I want to do!  I drive over and have a wonderful afternoon.  I can't wait for the Temple dedication and the opportunity to attend regularly, like every week!  As I talked to people about the Temple I realize how much I need it in my life.  To walk through the doors of the Temple is like walking away from life for a couple hours.  The peace and calm felt there is like no other.  It's the promise given in John 14:27.  Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.   If there is a place that old scratch does not want me in, it is the Temple.  I can't write all the trials that come prior to going to the Temple.  This one isn't even dedicated yet and I felt that burden still.  The last time I attended the Temple weekly was before I met Ryan and was living in Chicago (17 years ago!).  I loved those days.  I look forward to those days that are right around the corner.  I finish my shift, Casey & Rebekah joined me on our last tour.  It was fun being there with them.  We drive straight to Platte City for mutual.  We pick Sam up on the way and drop a few other kids at their home.  I drive home to check on Izy, Porter and Victoria.  Isabelle had done a fabulous job babysitting.  I'm home for 30 minutes and back to town to pick up the kids again.  It's 9:30 and everyone is finally tucked in bed.  The dishes are done only because a kind friend dropped dinner off while I was gone and cleaned up my messy kitchen.  So, tomorrow starts as soon as I close my eyes... I'm not sure if I am ready.

Thoughts from my run today...

People come into your life just when they are needed.  Sometimes it seems as if they leave too soon but in hindsight it's always when the time is right.  

I came up with a list of "My People"...

Tara was my best friend from church.  We endured girls camp together and she covered for me when I played mean jokes on the "rich" girls in our stake.  She was a year younger but just who I needed through out those weird, awkward HS years.

Mark was my HS boyfriend.  He cheated on me so many times I lost count!  I also lost count of the dozens of "I'm sorry" roses.  But he never pressured me and respected what I believed.  There wasn't a better guy for me to spend 2+ years with during THOSE years.  I ran into him 2 years ago at my mom's.  I was surprised at the feelings I felt.  A small part of my heart will always love the person he was for me during those really hard years.  He broke my heart over and over yet loved me better, in the ways that counted, than any other HS boy could.

Kristen was my college neighbor freshman year then roommate for the next couple years.  She was from McLean Virginia, worked at Liz Clayborn, painted her toenails, drove a Honda, listened to REM & Yaz, and her dad worked for the CIA.  I was from Tampico, IL population 800, detasseled corn & employed by Walmart, didn't have a car, and listened to AC/DC, Aerosmith, VanHalen and Heart, and my dad was a steel mill worker.  You couldn't find people from 2 totally different walks of life.  She was my best friend. We laughed & cried our way through BYU together.  She was just the right person during that time.  

Phil taught me how to be me and really love.  He opened my heart.  He taught me how it felt to be loved, truly, deeply loved.  He also made me chose... love or the gospel.  It's the first time I really had to decide if what I believed was true.  It's the first time I read the Book of Mormon in it's entirety.  It's the first time my testimony had to stand on it's own.  It's the first time I nursed a truly broken heart.  He left too soon or so I thought...

Ryan... the love of my life, soul-mate, best friend, eternal companion.  I think of them all, eternal companion is my favorite.  He is there no matter what, no matter the mood, no matter the emotions.  I know he will stick it out no matter the cost.  We are together forever, for the good, the bad and the ugly!  And believe me, there has been ugly!  

Penny was in Buffalo, NY.  She was a feisty east coast gal.  But sweet as sugar.  I would never have made it through the residency years without her.  I talked with her and spent more time with her than Ryan.  He was always gone.  She is talented, kind, strong and I still love her accent.  

Carol knew when I was at my wits end when everyone else bought the "I'm good."  She was cold and hard on the outside but kind and gentle inside.  She saw me cry more than anyone else.  KY was full of hard lonely years.  She made them bearable.

Kandi was fresh and loud, in a good way!  I never had to guess what she was thinking.  She just said it.  She judged me at first as a poor white trash kind of gal until she realized Ryan was a doctor (then I think it was rich white trash:).  We still laugh about her first impression of us!  Sam points to the hospital and says, "My dad works there."  Kandi thinks, "Yeah, as the janitor!"  We drove a really crappy van and I've never been the best dressed girl.  Who could blame her?  She is an amazing person!  I will love her forever.  

The Bauserman's gave me someone to love and serve.  The kids filled my empty bucket.  Ty put a smile on my face, a rare thing those days.  They are a family that touches your heart and leaves it's mark forever.

Melanie is kind and refreshing.  Spunky and sweet.  She is fun.  She has amazing talents and I learned a TON from watching her.  

Now in Missouri there are new "people".  They touch my heart in ways they don't realize.  I'm not the best at expressing my feelings.  I tend to think people should just know how I feel and be good.  So if I send a text that says your amazing, take it as a lot more that those simple words.  Take it as you've touched my heart and your one of "my people" Heavenly Father put in my life at just the right time.  

The best part of my day...

Porter asking if we could fight dragons again while tidying up but instead helped me make ogre mush (mashed potatoes).

Victoria asking to make more potions... yesterday she helped me make dinner, fried rice, and added ingredients like dragon teeth (onions) & dragon blood (red peppers).  We finished up with a magic potion (orange jello & mandarin oranges).  

Finally connecting with my youngest two on their level!  I think I have forgotten they are still so young and like to make believe and have fun.  I treat them the same as I treat my older ones.  They need a little less maturity and a lot more fun from their old mom!  

Isabelle getting up early to run with Ryan as he comes home from a night shift.  She's getting 1-2 miles in each day.