SCRIPT -N- GO

2012-02-14T22:51:00.002-06:00

Frosted Flakes - Casey, Oatmeal Squares - Rebekah, Froot Loops - Victoria, Cookie Crisp - Porter, Cracklin' Oat Bran - Samantha, Reese's Puffs - Isabelle

Have you ever read Heckedy Peg?

From School Library Journal

Kindergarten-Grade 3 This original story reads like a pure folktale. The poor mother of seven children, each named for a day of the week, goes off to market promising to return with individual gifts that each child has requested and admonishing them to lock the door to strangers and not to touch the fire. The gullible children are tricked into disobeying their mother by the witch, Heckedy Peg, who turns them all into various kinds of food. The mother can rescue her children only by guessing which child is the fish, the roast rib, the bread, etc., a trick she neatly performs by matching each kind of food with the gift that each child had requested (Monday asked for butter, so Monday is the bread, etc.).

Ryan and I had a fun day finding just the right thing for each of the kids for Valentines. Ryan bought the girls a couple flowers while I bought the boys some yummy new juices. We then spent a good 1/2 hour in the cereal aisle picking just the right box for each child. We set the table and placed their cereal on their chairs. As the kids came home from school & sporting practices we had them guess who's was who. Rebekah, Sam & Casey nailed them. Isabelle and Porter only missed 1 or 2. Victoria was guessing along with her siblings. They were all very happy with the selections. I've been cooking a lot for breakfast lately. I think I'll have a few days off! We had a fabulous evening together, a new tradition has been born. As we finished up dessert we made a list of the kids' favorite things.

2012-02-09T23:59:00.000-06:00

Today at 5:45AM I thought things were going really well... Sam was ready for seminary, I had her lunch packed & breakfast ready. Casey was up, showered & his breakfast waiting for him. Rebekah & Casey's lunches were started and Rebekah and Izy were up and moving. I jump in the car and Sam has tears rolling down her cheeks. Her hair isn't cooperating and her face won't stop breaking out. I ask her if she wants to stay home. She's worried about getting behind in class. I ask if she wants to skip seminary today? She shrugs. "Let's go inside." I suggest. We walk inside and she starts sobbing. It's been a rough few days. What I thought was a smooth rolling morning turned out to be a... pack your own lunch, get your own breakfast, make your own bed and roll with it morning. I messed with Sam's hair a bit then suggested washing and straightening it. Curly hair can be so temperamental at times. I have to say it was a very tender morning for me. She completely shut down. Sam doesn't do that very often. I washed her hair in my bathtub then dried and straightened it. At one point I was wiping her face with a washcloth as the tears kept streaming down her cheeks. I'm not even sure I can put into words the tender morning I had as her mother. It was one of those times you try to prepare yourself for because you know the day will come when their world is crashing down and they are falling apart. I know their will be many more days like this to come. Life is just like that. I am thankful I get to be a part of hers. I am thankful I can take her in my arms and she feels comfort in them. I'm not a big "I love motherhood" kind of girl. It's really hard and it stretches me in ways that are really painful! But today, as I took care of my little girl that is growing up way too fast, I would have to say I love motherhood. I love that I can bring her comfort in this really crazy hard thing called life. I love that I can make her life a little more bearable. If I can ease even an ounce of pain for my kids then motherhood and all the trials that come with it are well worth it. She climbed into my bed and took a quick nap. After a bit of rest, straight hair and not so red eyes we had a good talk. I tenderly validated her frustrations and added if she could see other peoples hurts it would make hers not so big. As we talked her smile came back accompanied with a better perspective of her situation.

2012-02-09T23:37:00.000-06:00

Every year the kids sell B1G1Free cards for a school fundraiser. They are only $10 and have 16 businesses on them. They have become great one on one dates and family fun treats. This year they added Roxanne's Cafe. It reminds me of my mom's diner. Sam & Casey skipped Monday morning classes for a delicious breakfast with Dad and a few games of pig & knock-out at the church. Everyone had a great time. The following morning we loaded everyone up early & dropped Rebekah & Casey at school then headed over to Roxanne's with Isabelle, Porter, Victoria, Jenna, Dad & myself. It was a fun morning. The kids loved it. So did I! We dropped Porter off for school and Isabelle asked if they could walk up to her school. The girls are now wanting to walk each morning. They get so excited about the simplest things. Rebekah had a paper to write & couldn't miss her morning classes so Ryan grabbed her for lunch at JRays. $6 for both of them to eat lunch. She is still talking about the fries!

Gratitude Journal:

1. Blessings... the dishwasher broke & the kids got to wash dishes together & have fun.

2. Blessings... the dishwasher had a recall & the service call was free.

3. Blessings... the dishwasher had a repair cap because of the recall.

4. Blessings... the repair man fixed the fridges thumping sound for free!

5. Blessings... instead of $600 it was only $183 and I no longer have beach towels on my counter for all our drying dishes!

2012-01-20T13:10:00.001-06:00

The Geddes home in 2011 experienced record tear fall. I don't think we've ever shed as many tears in one year as in 2011. But with the tears came understanding, love, support and family bonds. I treasure the bonds I feel with my siblings. We could be at each others throats but the minute someone did or said something against one of us they had to deal with all of us. I remember a time a couple older boys had my younger brother Jared's arm twisted behind his back. I told them to let him go. They didn't. I told them again & they said, "What are you gonna do about it?" As if they were going to be afraid of a girl, a younger girl at that! Little did they know I had one fast & furious upper cut. The poor boy didn't know what hit him and sucked air for quite sometime! I ran and hid. I was afraid of what my mom was going to do to me for making that boy cry. I treasure the feelings of love I have towards my family. The life we lived and experienced created those feelings and bonds. I can't recreate those times for my kids to encourage those feelings. 2011 took care of that in a small part. For the first time Sam and Ryan really connected. She has needed him this year. She has found comfort in having him close and available. I am grateful for the challenges she has faced that has given her the opportunity to build a lasting and much needed relationship with her Dad. Ryan was gone so much during her younger years she missed those opportunities Rebekah and Isabelle have had. The Lord has made up for it. She's learning to trust in her Heavenly Father. Her patriarchal blessing has been such a help. The Lord is able to say things that mom & dad can't. She's learning the atonement comforts and heals hurts from an unfair world. Home has become a safe haven for her. A place she feels loved, understood and supported. My self-esteem has always come from outside sources, that is slowly changing. Thankfully, hers is growing from knowing who she really is, a daughter of God. Sam has been able to empathize with her little sister as she is dealing with some hard things at school. Isabelle came home yesterday in a funk. She elbowed Rebekah and was sent to her room. Sternly, I asked her, "WHAT IS GOING ON!" She fell apart, sobbing. I should have known. It's been happening on a regular basis lately. Not very nice notes, looks, etc. This morning she started crying before I dropped her off at school. I'm at a loss. I'm not really sure what to do. I'm finding myself telling them to pray. Pray that you can forgive them. Pray that you can listen to the Holy Ghost. Let Him guide you through these trials. He is the only one that really knows what should be done. I'm still learning these lessons along with them. There are moments of anger then overwhelming sadness. These are the times when it doesn't matter what is right or wrong, I have to find away to forgive and move past it. It's very humbling to kneel and ask forgiveness for the harsh thoughts I've had towards another person, knowing that is the only way to have peace and happiness in my life. Humbling myself enough to not worry about what is right or wrong but to do what Christ did over and over. As I feel His healing power in my life I find myself seeing more than what the world sees in us. We sat and talked with a few sisters the other day. I love when He blesses me with a glimpse of what He sees in someone. We visited with amazing women. Women that have endured hard trials and continue to face each day with faith. I'm not a huge fan of my calling at church. Thankfully, the Lord doesn't take requests! He gives us that which will help us grow and develop talents that need working on. I will be forever thankful to a loving Heavenly Father that ignores my fits and temper tantrums then continues on with what is best for me... like it or not!

2012-01-11T20:13:00.000-06:00

For the first time since college I am officially dieting! That is not a good thing. I am the crankiest, grouchiest, hungriest mom around. I LOVE food. I've always loved food. I'm feeling better in someways but not so good in others. I turn 40 this month. I figure I'll see where I am on that day and like it or not that will be my new go to weight forever. No more of the "if I could just get to..." thoughts. It is what it is. What will the lucky number be?

I've been thinking a lot of different thoughts lately. One is my new relationship with service. It use to be one of warm fuzzies and satisfaction. It's changing now. I think as we change and grow the Lord provides more opportunities for continued growth. It seems as though the Lord is saying, serve out of love for your fellowman vs. serve those you already love and enjoy doing for. There are those people it is SO easy to serve. It's enjoyable just thinking of the things you can do for them. Others, not so much. It's been a growing past couple years. There has been a lot of learning and listening and a bit of fit throwing... "It's NOT fair." I am enjoying my solitude. Home has become my safe haven. It's where I want to be and feel most comfortable. I am enjoying the relationships being built within its walls. I like the people my children are becoming. Far from perfect and a bit moody at times but the important things are taking root. I hope they are able to build those relationships that will last an eternity. I keep going back to the testimony I bore on Sunday in the car on the way to church. I know families are forever. I know if we obey and do our very best we will live together with our Savior, Jesus Christ. I know that if we worry more about each other and less about ourselves we will be happy not only in heaven but here on earth as well. I need to worry more about my brothers and sisters in and out of the gospel more and myself less. I need to give others the benefit of the doubt. Look past weaknesses and frailties and build them up. Life is never fair. But it isn't about fair or unfair. It's about learning to love people. It's about serving because we are so grateful for the gift Christ has given us. It's showing compassion and becoming charitable in heart and mind. In my patriarchal blessing I am admonished to keep my thoughts pure and clean. At different times in my life that has meant different things. I think now it means finding the best in everyone and not letting those tiny criticisms sneak in and take over. Or choosing not to take offense and feed the off handed comment. It's thinking the very best of those around me. There is good in everyone. Sometimes it's just covered by a really prickly surface, others with a bit of complacency. Yet if I peel those outer surfaces back a little with kindness and love I'm sure to find good.

Gratitude Journal:

1. Eggs - we have 1 chicken laying an egg a day! Yesterday a different chicken laid a big egg.

2. A warm fire & a very cute man to keep it going at night.

3. People who care - I was left little treats at my door the other week, what a fun surprise!

4. Trials - they continue to humble me and strip the pride away.

5. Food - I am still hungry...

2011-12-30T09:51:00.000-06:00

Ryan took Sam, Casey, Rebekah, Porter & Grandpa to New Mexico for the week. They've enjoyed time with cousins snowboarding & skiing. Ryan suffered a concussion, I guess someone came flying down the mountain into him. He was seeing double for a day & a half. Thankfully he is good to drive today. They are headed home. I have really missed him. Victoria & Isabelle have enjoyed a week of 24/7 cousin time. It's been fun having just the two of them. January is right around the corner & it's usually a rough month. I think I'm going to hunker down and minimize everything possible. Ryan has an easy month, they were trying to persuade him to stay... thank-you Cindy! I'll enjoy the 7A-4P schedule all month. The only change would be if they changed a few of the shifts to 12 hours. He's still home by 7:30 every night! We've never had a month like that. It will be perfect for family dinner, games and fun. January is going to be the month I get everything back in order. I'm creating my schedule. I feel like I've just been "going with it" the past year and a half. It's time to get a little order back into my life. Before Sam left she asked if we could throw out all the junk when they got back... her exact words, "It's making me sick!" As I begin my quest for a stronger, more unified, happy family I am including in my plan to cut out the junk & eat like we did as kids... less processed stuff, more basics! Thankfully my pickiest eater LOVES cracked wheat cereal. With minimizing everything else it will free up time to cook more. We'll see how it goes.

5A: Wake Sam & fix breakfast
5:30: Wake Casey
5:45: Take Sam to seminary
6:10: Wake Izy, Porter & Victoria
6:30: Family Scriptures/Prayer
7:10: Casey & Rebekah leave
8:10: Take Izy, Porter & Victoria to school
8:55: Throw in a load of laundry
9:00: Take Misty for a walk/run (I have to get outside in the fresh air!)
10:00: Shower & dressed (unless I put in on my schedule it often doesn't happen!) Fold laundry
11:00: Read scriptures, Sunday school lesson, anything uplifting!
12:00: Lunch... sitting down at the table!

12:30 - 3:00: Tidy the main floor, run errands, grocery shopping, prep for dinner, etc.

3:00 Prep healthy snack for kids coming home.
3:15: Rebekah & Casey arrive home.
4:30: Isabelle, Porter & Victoria arrive home as well as RYAN!!! Finish dinner prep/cooking/etc.
5:00: Dinner
5:45: Clean-up
6:00: Family game
6:30: Reading time with Victoria & Porter
7:00: Bedtime for V&P, Game time with Isabelle & Rebekah
7:30: Bedtime for I&R, Game time or Psych episode with Casey & Sam
8:30: Wash my face, brush my teeth and into bed... snuggle time for me!

2011-12-25T02:09:00.003-06:00

Christmas Eve 2012... Ryan is working. We had a fun day. The kids, grandpa and I joined the Call's at the Golden Corral for lunch. We stopped by Home Depot to pick out a few gifts for Ryan. The kids had a ball filling up his tool box. Then a hair cut which turned into hair cuts! By the time we arrived home Ryan was awake. He joined us at the Call's for the traditional Luke 2 reading and some yummy chili. Then off to work he went. The kids and I hung around playing games. We drove home and I realized I hadn't gotten anything for Rebekah & Isabelle. Thank goodness for ToysRus & their late Christmas Eve hours. I got the kids tucked in then Sam & I ran to pick out a few very last minute gifts. For the past 10 years Ryan has been working at hospitals that are understaffed. He is either coming home at midnight or leaving around dinner time during the holidays. Hopefully this new job will bring him home more during those times.

A few of my favorite moments...

1. Smashing ice on the pond with Rebekah, Casey & Porter.

2. Hauling wood for the fire with Rebekah, Casey & Ryan.

3. Reading Tormod with Porter... I am loving this book just as much if not more than Porter!

4. Snuggling with Isabelle on the couch.

5. Shopping with the kids for Ryan's Christmas gift.

I love being outside. There are no ringing phones. No time constraints. Just the fresh crisp air and my fun kids. There is something I get from being outside working. It fills me in some way. My favorite past time right now is hauling wood. It's one I'd like to say I dreaded as a kid but I didn't. I think I've always found pleasure in it. I can remember "loading" each other up, piling the wood as high as our little arms could hold. We'd walk it over to the deck and drop it for the "little" kids to pick up and carry inside. I loved playing on the woodpile. I would pretend I was an explorer, cowboy, detective, etc. I love watching my kids enjoy those same things. There is a pile of dirt in our backyard right now. The kids LOVE that pile. Ryan and I have talked of moving it somewhere we can keep it. They have so much fun on it. The simplicity of a child's world it very appealing right now. I feel as though the Lord has taught me to trust Him with the temporal things. I feel as though I am being taught how to trust Him with the emotional and spiritual things. There are so many things that are not right or fair. I am learning to let go of justice and embrace mercy. I am learning... ever so slowly... but learning.

2011-12-15T15:27:00.000-06:00

"How is Christmas regarded today? The legend of Santa Claus, the Christmas tree, the decorations of tinsel and mistletoe, and the giving of gifts all express to us the spirit of the day we celebrate; but the true spirit of Christmas lies much deeper than these. It is found in the life of the Savior, in the principles He taught, in His atoning sacrifice--which become our great heritage."

--Howard W. Hunter, "The Real Christmas"

This was the perfect quote today. Last night Victoria was going on and on about how we don't have any decorations, "Why don't we get lights on our house? Everybody else has lights! Olivia has lights! I want lights on our house!" All in a very loud crying voice. Some would say she was distraught! I say she is spoiled. My simple reply was, "Victoria, there weren't any Christmas lights on the stable. Do you know what lights they had when Jesus was born?" She answered a very pouty, "No." I answered, "The stars in the sky. We have stars above our house just like that Christmas night Jesus was born." Obviously, she was not satisfied with that response... she wants light and she wants them now! I feel myself becoming more of a Ba Humbug each passing year. There are so many things planned for this time of year. All the school concerts, parties, church activities, etc. Sometimes I wish we could put away all the things that make December so crazy and hectic. So long ago in that quiet stable Christmas began... a simple, quiet, peaceful, wonderful night! Why can't December feel like that? Isn't that what Christmas is about?

2011-12-02T16:25:00.000-06:00

It's been an interesting few weeks...

I was making goals, I should have stopped there. I really need to become better at receiving answers to prayer. I was pleading with the Lord to teach me. I should know better by now! I don't know why I am SUCH a SLOW learner! Every time I ask for things, I get experiences that "teach" me what I have asked for. I'm not enjoying this teaching method.

RS Fabulous Friday... I can think of a few other F words that would describe that Friday better. Let's try facinorous, factious, festering, fickle, forked, farting, fantigue, fantod or fatuous! The day started at 5AM & didn't end until 3AM. I ran from 1 thing to the next the entire day. That evening I was in charge of the family menu craft. I double checked the laptop before I left. Surprise, surprise... in the few seconds after double checking it and leaving I must have done something because when I got to church there were no words on my computer, ANYWHERE! Just blank boxes! I still don't know what happened. I also forgot the cords to hook my printer up! Long story short, I drove back home in tears and brought the big computer back with me along with the appropriate cords to my printer. Ah, it's going to be just fine. But NO, my printer won't take the card stock & Christy's won't print the entire menu. At this point I am ready to EXPLODE!! I hate these craft nights. If I wasn't part of the RS presidency I would boycott them. There are so many other things I'd rather be doing. Like spending the evening with my husband that I rarely see these days. I am a craft Scrooge! BA HUMBUG! An hour and a half later everything was working as planned. I forgot to mention I was suppose to get to the bank to get money for a car I was planning to go look at Saturday morning. I didn't make it, to the bank or to look at the car the next morning. I came home, Ryan was in bed sleeping. He had a youth temple trip the next morning & all day. I slumped onto the couch & watched TV until 3AM.

Not only did I purchase a car off craigslist, but returned it! I knew when I drove the car I probably shouldn't buy it. As I drove it home I REALLY knew I shouldn't have bought it. But they were such nice people! That night the worst feeling in my gut would NOT go away. At one point I knelt and pleaded that the Lord would send a moment of peace so I could fall asleep and deal with it in the morning. The peace came quickly and surprisingly, so did sleep. The next day I processed it through with Jeanie and made the dreaded call... "Will you please take your car back?" Tender mercies abound in my life. I see them daily. I couldn't have bought the car from nicer people. I couldn't face them. I sent the car back with Jeanie & Kasey... you can't ask for better family!

I decided to go look at the original car... the one I was suppose to drive up to Omaha with Ryan that Saturday morning. Ryan and I got busy and decided to go the next day. My hair appointment was changed and messed with our plans. Jeanie volunteered to drive up with me that evening. Half way there we came up on a huge accident. Jeanie joked we should call and let them know we were coming. I got this very tiny uneasy feeling. I ignored it and kept going. I had called the dealership before leaving KC and they still had the car. We pulled in 3 hours later... they sold the car 5 minutes before we arrived. The people were driving it off the lot as we drove in!!! The tears started. I did NOT understand. I kept asking myself, what am I suppose to be learning? My head was pounding as we drove the 3 hours back home. Tears turned to laughter and I SLOWLY began to learn to listen to those very quiet, easily ignorable promptings. I have HORRIBLE hearing! Ask the kids, they'll tell you I will have hearing aids at 50. I need spiritual hearing aids... the most powerful ones available. Can I order those from Deseret Book?

The next day I am at my hair appointment. There is a car dealership across the street. I get this tiny thought to walk across and check it out. I don't want to. They are all really expensive, fancy cars. This time, I listen. There wasn't anything there in my price range but learned a few things about a car I didn't know about. It started me on another search. Which led to another car, that was gone and then to another and another & now I have a whole lot of information I didn't have! Like Suburbans from 05-07 are a consumer reports worse used car! HMMM, who knew!? I'm not sure if I will ever buy a "new" car. I'm happy with my 01 Suburban, just wish it had 4-wheel drive!

Victoria needed her Reindeer shirt this morning. The problem was, she wore it the past two days and I forgot to wash it last night. I threw a load of laundry in this morning so it would be dry before school. Unfortunately, the reindeer shirt didn't make it into the washer! I placed it on top of the washer as I collected the other clothes and forgot to put it in! We only had 15 minutes before leaving for school. I wash it out by hand and wring it in a towel. Throw it in the dryer on high in hopes it will be ready. We are already late and the shirt isn't quite dry. Victoria is a sport and wears a 1/2 wet shirt to school!

Last night we had a few friendly visitors... at 12AM. Our smoke/fire alarms start going off at 11:30PM. They wake Sam and Izy. I can't figure out how to get then off, they are hardwired to the house. We have this alarm system we've never armed since moving in. I really need to learn how to use it. Somehow I arm it then open the side door.... lots of even louder sirens start blaring! We get them off but still smell something burning in our bedroom. After 30 minutes of looking, smelling, climbing, etc. we call the fire dept. We reach a recording telling us to call 911. 911 dispatches a few firemen to our house. They smell the burning but can't find anything. They use their little gadgets and still can't figure it out. They leave after 30 minutes and we all head back to bed. Ryan comments on the firemen's stature. I chime in, "They are the epitome of a fireman's stereotype!" Ryan responds, "They are definitely ones you'd want pulling you out of a burning building." They were HUGE! The minute they walked in the door I couldn't help but stare at them. The one that was Ryan's height was dwarfed by the other two. They were guys that could pull a 300# person out of a building without breaking a sweat! AMAZING!

Victoria gets in trouble and can't stay home. She has to ride with Sam and I as we run a few errands. We are driving out of a parking lot and Victoria won't sit down or buckle. Our conversation...

J Sit down and buckle up.

V NO!

J Sit down and buckle up!

V NO! You aren't in charge of me.

J If the police see you they will stop me and take you away. They will say that if I am not in charge of you they will be in charge of you.

V I won't buckle in their car. I will stand up!

J They will make you

V No they won't. I will tell them they are not in charge of me!

J You'll get in trouble and be taken away.

V I will stand up anyway(pause) and poke them in the eye (pause) with a knife (pause) and kill them!

J (quietly to Sam) Then she'll go away for a long time!

Sam and I couldn't help but laugh. What to do with our little Victoria?

So... I revisit yet again a favorite quote,

“Patience is tied very closely to faith in our Heavenly Father. Actually, when we are unduly impatient, we are suggesting that we know what is best—better than does God. Or, at least, we are asserting that our timetable is better than His. We can grow in faith only if we are willing to wait patiently for God's purposes and patterns to unfold in our lives, on His timetable.”
― Neal A. Maxwell

And I wait and trust that I will learn and grow from all these experiences. All the while acquiring but a tiny morsel of patience... another "thing" I've pleaded with the Lord to bless me with!

2011-11-19T16:58:00.000-06:00

I was born poor white trash... yet raised a child of God. Life in Tampico, IL at the Adamson house was an experience! It still amazes me that my parents could instill in us the most important gospel principles: love, faith, hope and charity. I still don't understand how they did it amid the utter chaos, contention and stress of raising 12 children, not to mention on a steel workers income. I am surprised at how proud I feel when people ask me what my dad did for a living and I respond, "He was a steel worker." I am proud of his grease/dirt stained hands. I thought all men's hands where suppose to look and feel like that. I remember holding Ryan's hands for the first time and they were so white and soft... definitely NOT real man's hands! I've come to love, respect and need those soft kind hands the same way I did my Dad's. I came home the other night, everyone was asleep and the fire was going out. I looked in the wood box & it was empty. I walked outside into the cool night air and was grateful it was a pleasant night. Instantly I thought of my mom on those biting cold northern Illinois nights walking out into the frigid night air because our wood box was empty. Often times she was pregnant, carrying load after load of wood into our house to keep us warm through the night. I have no idea how she got up every morning to face that same dismal life. I stoked the fire and sat in my warm home thankful for the life I have. We were blessed with the opportunity to help split wood for a sister in our ward. It felt SO good to get out and work... real physical work! I started thinking about all this because someone commented, "You know what I like about you, you are the kind of person that will sit on the floor." I don't think I see myself the way others see me. I am still that kid growing up in Tampico, IL... poor white trash but now KNOWING, I am a daughter of God. That means more than being married to a Doctor (surprisingly, some people think that is a big deal and makes you worth more!) or living in a big house (it's the same as any other house, it gets dirty & you have to clean it, it has doors and windows and the bathrooms get stinky). I think once people get to know me, really get to know me they realize I don't fit in that round peg hole they thought I did. When we moved from Ohio a young man helping us move said to his mom, "How did they end up in THIS neighbor, she is such a redneck!" He knew me! I am happiest in my old jeans, a t-shirt and work gloves. Some of my fondest memories with my children are cutting down trees, splitting wood, working on 4-wheelers, digging holes and fixing things. I love when they throw on their work clothes and run outside with huge smiles, ready to join in the fun... aka work! If I had to describe myself in one work it would be simple or plain.

2011-11-19T16:16:00.002-06:00

something that one is expected or required to do by moralor legal obligation.

the binding or obligatory force of something that is morally or legally right; moral or legal obligation.

an action or task required by a person's position oroccupation; function: the duties of a clergyman.

the respectful and obedient conduct due a parent, superior,elder, etc.

an act or expression of respect.

Recently I have felt as though I am doing a lot of things out of duty. That isn't a bad thing, especially if I should be doing them. However, as I thought more I realized I was hiding behind that word. When I do things out of duty there is no emotion connected with it. I don't get hurt when I do something out of duty. There are no expectations, I just do it because I should. As I thought more about it I realized most of what I do actually stems from love. I include others out of love, I would hate for someone to feel left out or alone. I have activities in hopes of building unity and love. However, as those things haven't gone as planned I think I run to the duty part. It just doesn't hurt as much. I realized it with Ryan's dad this week. I was having a silent conversation in my head with Ryan. I was discussing how I do the things for Wilford because I love Ryan. And that I wouldn't do the same thing for just anyone. Then I thought about that and realized I probably would. I would never want anyone to feel alone or lonely. It's interesting how life works. It's interesting how I learn things about myself. I love seeing Wilford get excited to go to his silver sneakers class. Or when he starts teasing the kids and puts ice down Casey's shirt. I am so grateful for the opportunity to serve him out of love. I am grateful I am slowly learning to love my fellowman. I am grateful for the blessings that come from having an aged parent live in our home and become a part of our family.

2011-11-15T20:45:00.000-06:00

Emma had a blood transfusion & seems to be doing better, they are hoping to take her off the ventilator the next day or two. Sam has her ups and downs. However, she is handling life WAY better than I would have at her age... even at my age now. It's interesting the trials each person has. They are all so different yet have the ability to mold us into exactly who we are to become.

This morning I drove Sam to early morning seminary in my pink & red striped sparkly thermals and a Carhart coat. I didn't realize I was so low on gas. Anyone in the vicinity of Gas Mart in Platte City got a good laugh at my expense as I pumped my gas.

I am demanding life to SLOW DOWN!! I am being drug along & only have one very frayed fingernail left... I feel a good cry coming on.

Gratitude Journal:

1. 65*'s and sunny!
2. 3 very cute dishwashers... Sam, Casey & Rebekah
3. Coming to grips with a messy office & laundry room.
4. Dirty windows are more acceptable nowadays.
5. That good kind of pain after a workout.

2011-11-08T21:24:00.000-06:00

From Fall 2011

Samantha's best friend in Ohio is lying in a hospital bed dying & the doctors have no idea why. She's gone from a healthy vibrant 14 year old girl 6 months ago to lying in the hospital on a ventilator. Sam is dealing with the fact she most likely will never see her again in this life. It's hard watching her hurt so much. She's not one to show much emotion & rarely cries. She's been all tears. It's times like these that the gospel is so comforting. Knowing where she is going and that you'll see her again.

Gratitude Journal:

1. The Gospel
2. Our kids
3. Ryan
4. Family
5. Life... even when it hurts.

2011-11-08T20:38:00.000-06:00

Saturday night at 8pm Porter & Victoria remembered I said they could carve pumpkins that day! I indulged them...

From Fall 2011

Rebekah & Isabelle came home at 9pm and saw the jack-o-lanterns... noway were they going to bed without carving THEIR pumpkins...

From Fall 2011

I am so glad it was a "yes" mom night!

From Fall 2011

Daily To Do Lists

2011-11-08T19:14:00.004-06:00

Saturday I had a little meltdown. Ryan had worked 15 shifts in 19 days. 2 of his days off were transition days... got off work at 7AM, slept all day, back to bed & to work the next morning at 8AM. Basically he had 2 days off in 19 a Sunday & Wednesday. Most of those shifts were nights so he was sleeping during the day then a nap before heading back to work. I remember why I hate night shifts so much! Back to Saturday, Ryan was at a Boy Scout meeting from 8A-5p! The kids were helping here & there. The past month has been spent running every Saturday between soccer and cross country. Our house has been a DISASTER! After getting the closet & doors put in Casey's room we finally got everything cleaned up. I had asked the kids to get their jobs done. They started then got a little side tracked then fought a little then were sent to their rooms. I laid down the law... no allowance or clothing money if jobs were not finished everyday & Saturday jobs were not completed before 8pm Saturday night! (they've missed out on the past 2 months of clothing money due to daily jobs left undone) I revised their lists, printed them and handed them out. This week has been much better (at least the past 2 days!) The dishwasher is broke and it's on my list of appointments to make along with Sam's eye appointment, dental appointments, orthodontist appointments, pool closing, etc. It's ended up a good thing.

From Fall 2011

Sam, Casey & Rebekah clean up dinner and wash dishes together while I read to Porter & Victoria. Isabelle gets her daily reading completed during this time. Then it's a game with Rebekah & Isabelle. Casey & Sam enjoy just hanging around chit chatting with Ryan & I. It's nice to get back to a slower pace. Everything runs smoother. Dinner is so enjoyable. I love sitting around the table laughing and talking together. It's added a different dimension with Ryan's dad here. It's fun to see the kids interact with him. They love to sneak him extra treats. I love to see that sparkle in his eye & bright smile.

SAMANTHA
Pray
Scriptures
Make Bed
Tidy Room
Get Dressed
Family Scriptures
Breakfast
Brush Teeth
Lunch
Bag on Bench
Piano
Dinner Clean-up
Job - Basement

Tidy
Dust
Vacuum
Dust Window Sills
Kitchen

Job - Entryway

Tidy
Dust Everything
Vacuum
Dust Window Sills

Done by Sat. chores

Scrub toilet & base
Wash floor boards
Wipe cupboards
Wash Mirror
Wipe Sink & Counter
Sweep & mop floor
Scrub tub & shower
Bed Made
Room dusted
Tidy
Floor boards dusted
Closet
Vacuum
Laundry put away

CASEY
Pray
Scriptures
Make Bed
Tidy Room
Get Dressed
Family Scriptures
Breakfast
Brush Teeth
Lunch
Bag on Bench
Piano
Dinner Clean-up
Job - Basement

Tidy
Dust
Vacuum
Dust Window Sills
Kitchen

Job - Entryway

Tidy
Dust Everything
Vacuum
Dust Window Sills

Done by Sat. chores

Scrub toilet & base
Wash floor boards
Wipe cupboards
Wash Mirror
Wipe Sink & Counter
Sweep & mop floor
Scrub tub & shower
Bed Made
Room dusted
Tidy
Floor boards dusted
Closet
Vacuum
Laundry put away

REBEKAH
Pray
Scriptures
Make Bed
Tidy Room
Get Dressed
Family Scriptures
Breakfast
Brush Teeth
Lunch
Bag on Bench
Piano
Dinner Clean-up
Job - Living Room

Tidy
Dust everything
Wash windows
Put piano music away
Dust piano
Vacuum

Job - Chickens

Let out in morning
Check food
Check water
Collect eggs

Done by Sat. chores

Scrub toilet & base
Wash floor boards
Wipe cupboards
Wash Mirror
Wipe Sink & Counter
Sweep & mop floor
Scrub tub & shower
Bed Made
Room dusted
Tidy
Floor boards dusted
Closet
Vacuum
Laundry put away

ISABELLE
Pray
Scriptures
Make Bed
Tidy Room
Get Dressed
Family Scriptures
Breakfast
Brush Teeth
Lunch
Bag on Bench
Piano
Breakfast Clean-up
Job - Kitchen

Tidy Table
Wash Table
Vacuum
Dust Window Sills
Put things away

Job - Chickens

Put away at night

Job - Misty

Play with for 15 min.

Done by Sat. chores

Scrub toilet & base
Wash floor boards
Wipe cupboards
Wash Mirror
Wipe Sink & Counter
Sweep & mop floor
Scrub tub & shower
Bed Made
Room dusted
Tidy
Floor boards dusted
Closet
Vacuum
Laundry put away

PORTER
Pray
Scriptures
Make Bed
Tidy Room
Get Dressed
Family Scriptures
Breakfast
Brush Teeth
Lunch
Bag on Bench
Piano
Breakfast Clean-up
Job - Dining Room

Wash Table
Push Chairs In
Vacuum Carpet
Dust Window Sills

Job - Misty

Feed
Water
Play with for 15 min.

Done by Sat. chores

Scrub toilet & base
Wash floor boards
Wipe cupboards
Wash Mirror
Wipe Sink & Counter
Sweep & mop floor
Scrub tub & shower
Bed Made
Room dusted
Tidy
Floor boards dusted
Closet
Vacuum
Laundry put away

VICTORIA
Pray
Scriptures
Make Bed
Tidy Room
Get Dressed
Family Scriptures
Breakfast
Brush Teeth
Lunch
Bag on Bench
Piano
Breakfast Clean-up
Job - Sitting Room

Tidy
Dust
Vacuum
Dust Window Sills

Job - Cubbies

Tidy
Dust
Vacuum

Done by Sat. chores

Scrub toilet & base
Wash floor boards
Wipe cupboards
Wash Mirror
Wipe Sink & Counter
Sweep & mop floor
Scrub tub & shower
Bed Made
Room dusted
Tidy
Floor boards dusted
Closet
Vacuum
Laundry put away

A little Halloween fun with Grandpa "Smee"!

2011-10-31T22:19:00.002-05:00

A little fun with Grandpa

2011-10-31T21:00:00.001-05:00

And you thought Major Houlihan had hot lips!

The temple should be completed this spring! Can't wait to take Grandpa to the open house and then a session.

Grandpa always gets so emotional while visiting church history sites.

A beautiful night for hot dogs, smores, games & fun.

Sam's last cross country meet in 2011.

2011-10-30T00:12:00.000-05:00

We had a busy day... the morning started early with a cross country meet. Sam ran well. The last two meets she has finally figured out she can push harder and run faster. Today was her last meet of the season. She is looking forward to next year already. She has a lot more confidence now. She only wishes she had found it a hair earlier. She's run varsity all year and got settled into "her" place. The 2nd to last race he used a JV race as a runoff for the 7th V spot. Sam not only came in 1st for her team but actually won the entire race. She PR-ed & time wise was the 4th V runner that meet. Today she was the 4th V runner in for her team also. She missed state by 5 places. It's been a great learning experience. After helping clean up after the race, our school hosted it, we returned home for a little Saturday afternoon cleaning. Victoria, Porter & Isabelle found themselves banished to the couch for sometime. Rebekah was invited to a friends. After finishing her chores she rode her four-wheeler down to their house. The rest of us finished a bit more cleaning during which Porter continued to ask if we could go to Spencer's football game, "It is the Superbowl, mom!" We found out the game started at 7Pm. We threw our roller blades and sticks in the back of the suburban & off he went for a quick game at the church parking lot. It was boys (Grandpa, Casey & Porter) against the girls (Mom, Sam, Izy & Tori). Grandpa & Porter were very determined to win. Grandpa was a leading scorer. It was so much fun watching him get excited and run around with us playing hockey. We grabbed a couple pizza's and had front row, 50 yd. line seats to the Superbowl! Those little 2nd graders played their hearts out. Football is a pretty big thing around here. It was funny seeing all those dads lined up along the fence watching so intently! Porter knew boys on both teams but was cheering for Pirate Blacks. They ended up winning. Porter rushed out onto the field to congratulate his friends. DQ is right next to the HS parking lot, we just couldn't resist a cherry dip cone to top the night off. I tucked Izy, Porter & Victoria in bed and finished up a bit of laundry. Sam, Casey & I started watching Invincible. Rebekah came home and joined us. All in all, it's been a good day. We've laughed and had fun together & everyone went to bed with a smile.

2011-10-25T21:55:00.000-05:00

While helping Victoria get settled in her new room... yes we love playing musical rooms! It takes me about 5 years before I really get settled. Then we move! We started playing Outburst Jr. The kids were all gathered in Victoria's room. They just like to be where everyone else is. It was fun. We put Victoria's clothes away, tidied up & guessed words/phrases/etc. from different categories. As we headed down stairs for dinner Isabelle asked if we could play while eating. We had an easy dinner of chicken patty, mashed potatoes and salad. The kids each took turns checking off the words/phrases as we called them out. It was fun. Porter called while I was picking Sam up & asked if he could have a almond joy. I said no, then thought, "why can't he? he hasn't had any sweets today." So I told him I changed my mind & that he could have one. I'm trying really hard to only say no when I absolutely have to. We had some mischievous visitors tonight. The kids tried catching them but the darkness won out & they stayed pretty close to the house. Tonight seemed like one of those near perfect evenings as a family. It reaffirms my feelings of focusing on our family & creating those fun family moments. I love the closeness I felt tonight between us. I love that they enjoy spending time together & that they truly want to be together.

2011-10-24T23:46:00.001-05:00

We had a ball tonight. Sam's cross country team TP-ed the Seniors houses. Another mom & I drove and placed good luck signs as the girls did their business. Then, Ryan brought the rest of our kids in and we had a bit of mischievous fun ourselves. Including an alarm going off and a huge dog chasing us down. I love nights like these. I think we need to do a lot more. It's been a while since I've felt this light heartedness. A few months back I was talking with Jeanie. That morning we had run & I was dying! My hip & foot were killing me. I wanted to quit. But, I kept telling myself "just keep going, just finish." As we talked later that morning I told her how I felt while running then compared it to my life. There seems to be constant hurt and pain, so many times its that same thought, "just keep going." The tears started to flow as I realized just how tired I really was. I'm not sure why life never seems to even out for us. It seems just as one trial is coming to a close another one starts right up. I'm not sure what it is that I am to learn at this very moment. As I re-read my patriarchal blessing I noticed the talents it listed... ones that are improved only by trial! I'm not too excited about words like long suffering, patient, compassionate, etc. During times like these I want to shut my doors, turn off the phone and disappear for a while. I'm not a social person to begin with. Most of my efforts come from feelings of duty. I need to figure out a better balance. I need a week at the beach, no phones, no disruptions, just the peaceful, constant, soothing rhythm of waves crashing on the shore and my children's laughter. I think we all could use a week there. Instead, I think we will plan a few family fun nights as well as a fun trip to St. Louis. Sam runs at districts Saturday. It may be her last meet. If it is we are celebrating the following Saturday morning by staying in bed and watching movies all morning! Our Saturdays have been inundated with soccer games and cross country meets. NO MAS! We need a few roller hockey games, some bonfires and a whole bunch of family bonding. I've been so focused on other issues I haven't made that a priority. I think we'll regroup & refocus our energy into our family for a while. I'm officially hanging a sign on my door that reads, "Goodbye world, I'll be back in a few months!" Now if I could just get the mailman to loose our address for a bit!

2011-10-18T19:28:00.000-05:00

Sam, Casey & I are all around the computer. I see green dots by friends on facebook. I ask Sam a little gruffly, "Did you click this?" She had been on my account. She answered, "No, Casey clicked on Taylor Maughan." I turn to Casey & tell him, "Don't click that!" Casey asks, "Why?" I respond, "People try to talk to you!" Sam starts laughing, "You know how antisocial you sound!" Hmmm, I guess so!

2011-10-10T21:27:00.001-05:00

We had a quick trip back to Ohio! We left Thursday morning around 5:30AM. A few hours into the trip our heater wouldn't shut off. Isabelle & I were burning up! We stopped, shut the car off for a few minutes then started it up again... the heater was still on. I pulled a couple fuses out then put them back in hoping that would reset the darn thing... no such luck! We drove on. Within an hour kids needed a bathroom break. We pulled into a rest stop. While the kids ran in I pulled the fuse to the heater and left it out. We got back on the road & were much more comfortable! Everyone was spread out, Sam & Ryan stayed home. At one point I looked back & everyone was sleeping. It's nice having kids old enough that sleeping in the car is enjoyable, no longer a punishment! We pulled into Zanesville after 12 hours in the car. The kids were so happy to be with cousins & friends. They played outside, roller hockey, explored, built forts by the creek, milked cows(at least held the cows tail!), watched soccer games, swam, ate and played some more. It was wonderful to have a nice comfy bed to fall asleep in each night & good company. I feel a little guilty each time we've been back there. The kids are all farmed out & I get to sleep alone! I'm not a morning person, vacation brings out my true nature... late nights & later mornings! I look forward to the mornings when I get to sleep until 10:30AM! Who knows if those will ever come... but I sure can hope! We left just after sacrament meeting Sunday. The trip home was a bit faster... 10 hours instead of 12! Thanks to those flying cars from Indianapolis on through St. Louis! We made 1 pit stop. The kids have amazing bladders, made for traveling. We pulled in just after 9PM. Ryan was at work. He's working a lot more nights. I miss falling into bed with him. Another reason to sleep until 10:30AM... I would actually get a little snuggle time! As it is, I leave to take kids to school, he arrives 15 minutes later, falls into bed alone, then I return around 9AM to snoring.

Sam is dealing with typical HS issues. This morning as we drove to seminary the car was silent. We aren't the most talkative pair! As we arrived I expressed how sorry I was that things were the way they were but that I was proud of her for being who she is and doing the things she is doing. I told her how much I loved her and wished her a great day. I am so grateful she starts her day with seminary. I think it's a place she is happy to be and she has an amazing teacher. She enjoys being in her class and attending with friends.

Sam & I went out tonight to put the chickens away. The rooster pushed Goldilocks off the roost. Casey came out and started shaking the roost... noway was that rooster going to bully Goldilocks. We laughed as we talked about those crazy chickens. I am not sure if I am cut out for animals. I tend to think of them as people & worry about them. We discussed what would come of Hawk (rooster) if he continued to bully. Casey and Sam were both very quick to volunteer to "take care" of him!

My goals... (where I am and what I need to do to be the kind of person I want to be!)

See the good in others, even if I have to pull out a magnifying glass and really search for it! I will find something good!

Focus on my own faults & work on embracing and LIVING the golden rule.

Humble myself and accept life just the way it is. Trust that He does have a plan & that I will learn the things I am to learn through this set of trials He has blessed me with.

Now if I can just get my imagination fired up and create the excitement in my heart to inspire me to work consistently towards them!

Gratitude Journal:

1. Amazing people that have left footprints on my heart & soul!

2. Friends that become family... family IS forever!

3. Life, it creates such empathy & compassion in me.

4. Trials that teach and guide.

5. Time, with it comes wisdom. Some from mistakes, some from friends, some through the gospel, a lot through tears, a bit with anger but always in time.

2011-10-05T13:31:00.000-05:00

I am struggling with people in general lately. For example, the rude man that makes a mean gesture because I didn't go fast enough at a 4-way stop. Or the cashier with her irritated looks while scanning my coupons. I have decide life as a hermit looks very enticing. It seems as though selfishness (mine included) tends to cause most problems. Another great quote that hit the spot...

"I urge you to examine your life. Determine where you are and what you need to do to be the kind of person you want to be. Create inspiring, noble, and righteous goals that fire your imagination and create excitement in your heart. And then keep your eye on them. work consistently towards achieving them." - Joseph B. Wirthlin

My plan is to come up with 3 goals this weekend and turn the other cheek... again.

2011-09-29T11:47:00.000-05:00

Just what I needed to hear today....

"Let us focus on those things that will sustain a lasting peace of mind and heart. Then our confidence will “wax strong in the presence of God” The promise to enter into the rest of the Lord, to receive the gift of peace, is far from a temporary, worldly satisfaction. It is indeed a heavenly gift... He has the power to heal and strengthen the soul. He is Jesus Christ."

--Elder Per G. Malm, "Finding Peace in Troubled Times

2011-09-28T23:05:00.000-05:00

I left this morning with peanut butter and jelly still on the counter, breakfast dishes on the bar, the remains of a sandwich cut up into little circles for Victoria's lunch as well as a million other things! Shoes everywhere, clothes, bags, discarded papers, you name it it was left as is! After dropping the kids at school I drove up to a golf tournament. A friend of Samantha's was playing, it was their districts tournament. It was fun to watch, I've never been to a golf tournament... it is VERY quiet & beautiful! Taylor played well. I returned home and was quickly reminded of the mess I left this morning! Not only was it piano, I also had bread to set for tomorrow nights team dinner. I quickly started cleaning up and mixing dough. Ryan walked in and took care of the dishwasher, unloading & then loading it! Dinner was thrown together and the kids started streaming in through the front door! Dinner is served. Clean up again, help the girls for a few minutes with a puzzle, listen to Porter read, fall asleep, Porter wakes me up to listen more, back downstairs to the lingering messes. Piano is over, Ryan runs Sam and Casey to mutual. Casey calls with a request, type his 4 page paper. I read a few books to Victoria and Porter then tuck them in for the night. Rebekah, Isabelle & I play golf, the new card game Jeanie & Kasey taught the kids while we were away for the weekend. I scratch Isabelle's back, tuck them both in with a kiss & downstairs I slump... now for a 4 page single spaced writing project to type! I just sit down at the computer and Sam, Casey & Ryan are at the front door. There's laundry that needs to be put from the washer to the dryer before going to bed. At least Sam gets it started as I begin to type. Nights like these I feel as if my time is never mine... I just want to go to bed. For a moment I thought of my mom & the countless nights she must have spent crying out of pure exhaustion. I'm sure those last minute, late night requests, "Mom, can you wash my uniform tonight! My spelling test is tomorrow & I didn't study! I'm hungry & there's nothing to eat." surely brought tears. I'm not sure if I will ever fully grasp the life she has lived. I get small glimpses here & there from my own life as a mother blessing me with more empathy & compassion for both my mom & dad.

I was able to spend the day with Wendy making pies for Wilford's birthday party while in Utah. It was one of the best days I can remember. We talked and laughed, baked, baked and baked some more. At 8pm we sat down and shared a pizza. I loved the time spent with my big sister. Then Sunday evening I was able to visit with Jared. It was so fun sitting in his back yard just talking and playing with his boys. I am so grateful for the family I have. I got a quick visit with Alicen as she flew out and we flew in! Tyson is adorable (just 4 weeks old!). We borrowed their car, raided their refrigerator, slept in their bed & stole her shirt! I couldn't ask for a better family. As time goes by I value them more and more. I can't imagine trying to navigate this life without them. Friends come and go but family... is for eternity!

2011-09-27T12:50:00.000-05:00

I had made the decision to reread all of last conference before this weekend of conference began. I got a great start then petered out a bit. The plane ride home I finished the last session of talks. This has to be one of my favorite weekends. I look forward to the counsel and spirit that is felt. Sam has a cross country meet Saturday morning & the kids have a soccer game. It's fun to hear them express their concern about missing conference. It has become such a fun tradition to watch conference as a family all snuggled up on the couch with yummy eats. Sam has a run-off today. If she is in the top 7 she runs varsity & finishes early enough to return home for conference. She said with a smile, "I'll make varsity, Heavenly Father wants me at conference." We'll see how the day ends. I've thought a lot about Ryan and my relationship lately. We have our ups & downs just like every couple out there. As the years go by they seem less and less frequent. Last week I realized what makes our life together work as well as it does. Our priorities are so much in sync. Sabbath day observance, tithing, budgeting, scripture study, prayer, family home evening, dating, sports, work, parenting in general, etc. I've also thought of living so close to family & it working so well. It's the same thing. Our priorities and goals are so in sync. It makes the hard times less hard. Last night as we knelt in prayer we talked about some struggles family members were having. We discussed what we could pray for that night (thanks for the example Laurie). It truly is sweet listening to our children earnestly pray for each other. Sam runs at 3pm, everyone is going to say a little prayer around that time. Even though we won't be there and no matter the outcome I hope she feels the strength and love from those prayers. I feel so blessed to have the gospel in my life. To KNOW I have a Heavenly Father that loves me and is concerned with my life and struggles. I often pray to be able to feel His love more. Hoping, that if I can feel His love more then I can accept myself better and in turn love more freely. I realized this weekend every time I listen to or read a general conference talk that addresses my needs/struggles I feel His love. I am aware that He is aware of me. It is through the guidance from our church leaders at General Conference that I best feel His love.

Gratitude Journal:

1. Family that encourages & teaches me to become better, more loving & charitable.

2. Children that are building their own testimonies.

3. Trials that bring us closer as a family.

4. The Gospel of Jesus Christ, it teaches me what I want to BE when I grow up... patient, kind, charitable, loving, humble, etc.

5. Ryan, I couldn't ask for a better partner to endure to the end with. What a life we've created together, what happiness and peace... amid the crazy of raising six head strong children!

A few happenings...

2011-09-22T14:55:00.001-05:00

2011-09-22T13:09:00.002-05:00

September is flying by! I can't believe how busy life is right now. I'm up at 5AM & feel as if I am behind for the better part of the day! Our mornings have 2 scenarios...

A (scenario B in{ })

5AM Sam up

5:15 Lunches/Breakfast made

5:30 Casey up & showers

5:44 (suppose to be 5:40) leave for early morning seminary

6:00 Drop Sam at church

6:15 Return home/wake Rebekah up {Run with Jeanie}

6:30 Wake Porter, Isabelle & Victoria/family scriptures {Ryan takes over}

7:00 More lunch packing & breakfast

7:10 Casey & Rebekah out the door for school

7:15 Tidy rooms, brushing teeth, last minute homework, last minute wardrobe change, finding SOMETHING, etc. {Ryan gets ready for work & leaves}

8:10 (suppose to be 8:05) load up

8:15 Pick Jenna up & off to school

8:30 Drop Isabelle & Jenna

8:35 Drop Porter

8:40 Drop Victoria

9AM back home

During this time I try to accomplish as many tasks as possible... one day I came home and went back to bed!!! That was my favorite day. These 6 hours FLY by! Do a bit of cleaning, bill paying, grocery shopping & they are gone.

3:15 Rebekah arrives home

3:20 Start dinner prep/ help Rebekah with list or homework

4:30 Isabelle, Porter & Victoria arrive home... hungry!

4:45 Leave to pick up Sam & Casey

5:00 Retrieve Sam and Casey from cross country practice... no more activity bus to our house:(

5:15 Back home {T/TH leave for soccer practice... Rebekah, Isabelle, Porter}

5:30 Dinner

6:00 Clean up

6:15 Homework

6:45 Prayers & snuggles

7:00 Victoria & Porter to bed

7:10 Phase Ten with Rebekah & Isabelle

7:45 Rebekah & Isabelle in bed, lights out

8:00 Tuck Casey in after chatting

8:15 Sam & quizzes or homework!

9:00 Wash my face & go to bed.

Now if it would all flow as smoothly as that! Every morning there is something, the dog won't listen, a book is lost, someone forgot to do homework, clothes aren't clean, shoes are "missing", at least 1 person is grouchy! Then, in the evening there is always a forgotten assignment, quiz or project due that needs attention. This morning it was Isabelle dressing up like a bunny! What a morning...

I had an ah ha moment the other day. Sam has the potential to run well this year. No matter what she'll do just fine. However, Ryan and I see the potential she has. As we've encouraged her and given her unsolicited advise she's taken some & ignored some. She's learned a few hard lessons... eating before a race is essential! As I thought about it I realized it's the same with our Heavenly Father, He sees our true potential. He teaches us what we should do but then lets us make our own decisions. Sometimes we listen, others we completely ignore, even blatantly rebelling at times. The contention that would come from trying to force us into doing something we didn't want defeats the purpose. I saw on a small scale why things work the way they do with our agency. Sam is one of those kids that has to learn for herself. However, as she learns she begins to see that Ryan & I do know a thing or two and she begins to trust our advise. It still comes down to her (us) deciding what is important & how much she (we) want to put into running (life!). I am amazed at the patient Heavenly Father has with me. I am learning everyday from how He parents me. I'm seeing firsthand how "agreeing with thine adversary" works. How long suffering and patients changes attitudes and increases feelings of trust. I see how the past 10 years of trials have shaped me into a person better equipped to handle the trials I face now. Within the next 4 years we will have 5 teenagers living under 1 roof (plus an 11 year old going on 21!) What excitement these crazy 6 will bring to our home.

Ryan and I leave tomorrow morning for a weekend with his family. It's Wilford's 80th birthday! I'm sure it will be a fast & furious few days.

Sam - I love you... relax, be kind & love your little brothers and sisters.

Casey - I love you... take care of your little brother and all your sisters.

Rebekah - I love you... don't take things too seriously, always be true to you.

Isabelle - I love you... listen to your heart, it will never lead you astray, apologize quickly & sincerely.

Porter - I love you... climb high, never look down & laugh.

Victoria - I LOVE YOU!! I love your smile & bright eyes. I love to see & hear you sing "Charlie just got back from the Army." Believe in yourself!

2011-09-09T16:33:00.000-05:00

Rebekah arrives home at 3:15pm... ALONE! I think it is the only time she's ever been the only one around. It's one of my favorite times during the day. Today she played her recital song for me then it started raining! She put her rain boots on, grabbed an umbrella and out she ran. I WISH I had a more powerful zoom lens. She walked through the garden picking a few tomatoes then on to our sad strawberry patch. She found a handful of strawberries. I laughed as she pulled the weeds tossing them over her head. I LOVE it here. I love that our kids love to play in the rain, explore and play mountain climber. I love everything about country living... even limited Internet access & horrible TV options!

2011-08-22T15:13:00.000-05:00

1st day of early morning seminary for Sam. We left a little late. Sam was a bit frazzled but I am proud to say I was patient, kind, understanding & did I mention patient! I was born with less patient than you would find on the tip of a stickpin. I've spent the better part of my life trying desperately to acquire just a small bit of it! This morning was a success in any book. We arrived on time. Sam was not upset after a tense departure. (she forgot to print an assignment & was stressed about running late) She thanked me for taking her and apologized for running late. For that response, I will pack her lunch and fix breakfast to go each morning with a smile. I love the young woman she is becoming. There are moments when I shake my head and think, "What has gotten into you?" Then I remind myself she is a typical hormonal teenage girl. THAT is what's gotten into her.

2011-08-21T09:59:00.006-05:00

Sam texted Ryan, Friday, that her toe really hurt. She's been logging so many miles this summer. She went from a non-runner to a distance runner in a matter of weeks. Her poor feet are taking a very brutal beating. After practice she babysat for Jeanie. She called a bit weepy, feeling achy with a fever. When she got home we checked her toe, this is what we found...

She was sweaty, cold & running a fever. Ryan numbed her up. Not a lot has changed since she was 5 years old screaming bloody murder as Ryan tried gluing the cut on her eyelid. It took us a while before he could actually stick her. She has such a phobia of needles. After it was numb, he drained it a bit. She started an antibiotic that night. Next morning she got up & started getting ready for a temple trip. She came upstairs asking for food, she was feeling light headed. She was grey! I sent her back to bed for the day. Then she ended up with this....

(Sam's hip)

An allergic reaction to the antibiotic. We decided to wrap her toe with a potato poultice (thanks grandma!). Basically it's a raw potato, grated (boiled in water) and globbed over the infection site. We wrapped her foot in suran wrap & put a sock over it. Last night she couldn't put a shoe on let alone walk on it. This morning her foot looked & felt 100% better. The infection looks like it's gone as well as the swelling. I've used potato poultices a number of times and every time I am amazed at how fast & well they work.

2011-08-17T12:21:00.000-05:00

Monday I registered Victoria for Kindergarten at Rising Star. She had been registered at a private school. Last spring I almost pulled her out. BUT, it's what fit MY plan for her. All summer I've had this uneasy, nervous feeling about Victoria's up coming school year. I tried ignoring it ALL summer. It's one of those times that the Lord didn't let me travel down the wrong road to long before stopping me, or at least trying to stop me! I'm so glad I finally listened. I'm not sure why? But I know the peace I felt the past 2 days is real. The peace I felt walking her into her classroom and kissing her goodbye this morning was real. I know she's going to have a great year with Mrs. Miller!

Victoria during one of the girls "dress-up" shows.

*Sam, Casey, Rebekah & Victoria have all had a Mrs. Miller for their Kindergarten teacher.

2011-08-16T22:22:00.046-05:00

Tonight was back to school night. I made 4 round trips to Platte City today! There are 5 schools in our district. Rising Star (K), Siegrist (1-3), Paxton(4-5), PCMS(6-8) & PCHS(9-12). I have kids at EVERY school! Isabelle's back to school night over lapped with the HS athletic meetings. Porter's was hours before Isabelle's. Casey's was Tuesday of last week, Rebekah's Wednesday of last week, Sam's Thursday of last week, Victoria's was before I registered her & missed completely. Thursday night is class meetings at Seigrist. Fun, fun, fun!

Tonight as I walked down the halls of PCHS I physically became nauseous. I think back on my own experiences and it makes me ill. Just last year I wrote & sent a letter to a girl I went to HS with apologizing for how I had treated her. It's one I had written literally a hundred times since graduating but never sent. I was part of the in crowd. (Only because Adamson's were athletes & cute.) I think that's what makes me ill. I remember how others were treated and it goes against everything the gospel teaches. I'm not sure WHAT I was thinking back then. I just want my kids to get in & get out. Sam is making some good friends that I think will help ease the stresses of HS. They are good kids with similar standards. She's branching out into the stake. She makes us laugh. The other Sunday we went to a nursing home, we had a couple hours before our meetings started. Instead of going home she sat through a different sacrament meeting to go to Sunday school with a friend from another ward. I think I would have passed on 5 hours of church. I'm grateful for good kids she enjoys spending time with. HS is difficult. I hope she can stay focused on what really matters and let the other stuff roll off. I need to make the time to really check in with her.

What was I thinkin?

2011-08-15T21:25:00.034-05:00

We were playing phase 10 for our FHE activity. Porter was laying on Ryan's back talking. Casey turned around and said something, Porter kicked him in the nose! Casey teared up. Porter was scowling. I said, "Kick him in the nose." WHAT WAS I THINKING? I was thinking that a big brother would protect his little brother and NOT kick him. Casey looked at me. Porter started snapping his fingers nervously. I said, "Kick him in the nose." WHAT WAS I THINKING? I thought if he did kick him it would be a tap & smirk. He kicked him in the head with a roundhouse kick! I stared in awe. Porter went after Casey kicking him, Casey grabbed his leg and dumped him on the floor. I burst into tears, completely overcome with emotion... I've never had that happen. The kids just watched as I cried. I think my reaction shocked them more than the kick. I couldn't believe he would do that. Our kids have never fought like that. He just looked at me and said, "You told me too!" I sent everyone to bed, crawled into mine and cried. I got back up, crawled into bed with Porter and snuggled him. I started crying all over again. Casey came up and sat in Porter's room. He asked why I told him to do it. I tried explaining through the tears I thought he would protect his little brother & tell me no. He responded with a "You told me to do it." then "I didn't kick him hard." Porter pops his tear stained face out of the covers & apologizes to his big brother for kicking him in the nose. Casey apologizes and all is well in their big brother, little brother world. Most days I have no idea what I am doing!

2011-08-13T16:18:00.003-05:00

Isabelle turned 10! We had a fabulous day. It started with running a few errands. Jaycie & Rebekah accompanied Isabelle on her fun day. The girls had planned and planned this day. They were so excited to take Isabelle to the American Girl Store and purchase a couple items for her. Our first official birthday stop was to get Isabelle's ears pierced. Ryan had taken Sam and Rebekah to get theirs pierced. I thought all the earrings were the same price... until I checked out! Holy Cow!! I won't make that mistake again! Next, Wendy's for a frosty & french fries. The girls brought their dolls and played the entire way down. We arrived and Isabelle was SO excited. They found the items and Isabelle picked out another one from the family. They filled out a book card and each receive a free book. We drove over to Costco and picked up pizza, watermelon, strawberries & kiwi! The perfect birthday dinner. We drove home and enjoyed dinner with family. The Calls made an enormous birthday ice cream cookie! It's tasted SO good. I love tucking them in at night after having such a happy day.

2011-08-13T16:09:00.002-05:00

July 25th...

Porter spilled the beans after church... on accident! The girls tried to recover but added to the already spilled beans. It was very cute. The kids kept the surprise from Ryan for a good 2 weeks or more! I booked a bed & breakfast outside Lawrence, KS. It was a quite secluded place with nothing to do except talk & read. It was a lovely couple days. We enjoyed a picnic dinner in our room Sunday evening, massages Monday morning, dinner at a fabulous Greek restaurant followed by a scoop of butter pecan at Sylas & Maddy's Home Made Ice Cream. I read The Count of Monte Cristo while Ryan did a bit of studying & a bit of dozing. Tuesday morning we checked out after a yummy breakfast. We made a couple stops then headed for home. The kids were excited to welcome Ryan home on his birthday. All in all it was a fabulous couple days.

July 27th...

Grandma comes for a visit! It was SO stinking hot the few days grandma was here we stayed in most the time. She baked and cooked the entire time with the kids. They had a ball making cinnamon rolls, sticky bread, zucchini bread, pickles, potato salad, chicken salad & other delicious foods. What memories made!

Porter the climber...

He loves trees! If there is a way to get up one he'll be up there. We really need to build a tree house sometime. He was a little moody & wanted me to spend some time with him. He asked if I would go out and climb trees. I told him I would come out and watch HIM climb trees. He swung on the ropes we hung together a while ago for a bit then moved on to some climbing. We talked as he swung and climbed. It was nice.

August 1... turning over a new leaf! Not really, just trying to eat a little bit healthier. The kids gave me such a hard time about the menu.

Some of the comments prior to trying it: "Are you trying to starve us?" "We are not eating spinach in moderation!" "Dessert on Sunday only?!" "YUCK!" "I don't like this food!" "WHAT is edemame?"

Some after trying it: "I'm SO full." "That tastes good." "Yogurt is a good dessert." "Hmm, I like this."

My Hero: by Rebekah Geddes

2011-07-28T05:14:00.000-05:00

Jonnette was cleaning rooms and came across Rebekah's writing compostion notebook and brought this to my attention. It seems like a late birthday present and I just have to share it:

My Hero.
He has black hair and green eyes. He was born in Ogden, UT on July 26th 1967. He is an ER doctor and 43. This person is my hero, my hero is Ryan C Geddes my dad.
My dad is the best dad in the whole wide world! The reason he's the best in the whole wide world is because of what he does with me. My dad plays with me whenever he gets the chance. If my dad is home when we get home from school he'll say, "Who wants to go outside and play." When we go play outside we usually play a sport we all like to play together. Even on cold, wet, rainy days he will still play with us, we'll choose a game that we all enjoy. My dad will sit down and play it when he has time.
My hero not only just plays with me he also helps me sooooooooo much. My dad will help me with my chores the daily ones and Saturday ones (he almost always vacums for me). Another way my dad helps me is by encouraging me to practice the piano by saying, "Oh, I just love it when I wake up and hear Casey playing the piano." When he says that I get motivated to practice. My hero does lots of things to help me but one of my favorite is that he will check my homework whenever I ask.
One of the most important things my dad teaches me is how to be a worker and not a lazy bum. My dad will make working fun and not boring. My hero is always wanting help so he will ask us and if we don't come he won't get angry or mad but will expect us to help. Whenever he asks for help it's like he has me under a spell. Sometimes I'll break the spell but other times the spell is so strong it can't be broken and I'll stand up and say, "I'll help, " and we'll go out and have a great time together.
Above all, the greatest superpower my hero obtains is that he loves me and shows it by all the things he does just for me and those are only a few powers I would ever tell you of all the things my hero, my dad does for me.
by Rebekah Geddes

2011-07-27T22:59:00.002-05:00

The moments over! Back to reality... Casey is teasing, Porter is crying, Sam is sleeping, Rebekah & Isabelle are fighting over who made what mess in their shared closet & Victoria is... being neglected, AGAIN!! After much arguing I finally deemed today a work/read day... if you are not working you are in your room reading a book! It worked out well. Except Casey would not listen to me, Porter still cried,Victoria continued to be neglected and Sam was dreaming. It all began when Isabelle yelled at Rebekah as I walked into her room. Trying to be the "good" mom I asked why she would yell at her like that and what was going on, trying to get them to communicate better with each other. Rebekah shocked me with her reply, "I share everything, a closet, a room, clothes, EVERYTHING! Nothing is mine, I have to share everything!" I was taken back a bit. She's never expressed those feelings quite that way. She then sat down and cried. I got up & started pulling all of Victoria's things out of their room. I didn't know where I was going to put her but it was time Rebekah had her own space, especially with middle school starting this fall. There were more tears... Victoria didn't want her things out, Rebekah was feeling horrible that Victoria was sad. Part of me was doing it because I was mad. So I kept asking myself, "Is this something that has to be done or are you just mad?" As I kept taking her things out I kept feeling like it needed to be done. I was upset yet calm at the same time. This was not a put all the toys in a black trash bag then feel guilty and give them back later moment. Believe me, I've had PLENTY of those! As I processed through all my options the only one that really worked was putting her in Porter's room. So, Porter has a new roomie! He has a bed plus a bunk bed in his room so it works out great. It also cuts down on tidying rooms in the morning. Now I just have 1 to help with instead of 2. Victoria never sleeps in her own bed anyway. She finds someone to sleep with every night. If she doesn't, she is in our bed. Sam had joined the living & helped Victoria process what was going on. Victoria went to Rebekah and told her, "This isn't my favorite room, it's just the only one I had here. I like Porter's room!" Rebekah stopped feeling sad, I could see the joy she felt about having her own space! She and Isabelle finished up the closet together, happy! They reported, "Mom, we are just going to end up in each other's closet sharing clothes!" Porter and Victoria each have their side of the closet as well as a few toys under their beds. Porter read an entire Junie B. Jones today, Rebekah logged 3.5 hours, Izy logged 3 and they both slept in Rebekah's room finishing the night with a bit more reading! I guess it's not so much about being alone as having her own space when she needs it!

I had a RS meeting tonight. Ryan fed the kids as I walked out the door. They had fun plans... after dinner they would put their swimsuits on, water all the trees then go for a swim. I walked back in just in time for Ryan to leave for work. The music was blaring, everyone was smiling & laughing. I kissed him goodnight as he walked out the door. Rebekah & Isabelle grabbed their books, I tucked Porter in while Sam and Casey ran to the neighbors house to finish the watering. Victoria fell asleep on the floor as I typed. Seasons really are changing. I'm not sure if I'm up to the challenge?! Like always... ready or not here it comes!

Gratitude Journal:

1. Vinegar & Water in a spray bottle... Windex left all my mirrors streaky no matter how much I buffed! V+W=streak free mirrors!

2. Music, Music, Music! It makes everything happier around our house.

3. Gravel roads. They take me away & let me feel I am a million miles away from everyone. (even though I'm not!)

4. Happy Kids! Walking in tonight and seeing all the happy faces makes my heart sing. (thankfully not my mouth... everyone would no longer be smiling or maybe they would because they couldn't help but laugh.)

5. Ryan... You are the love of my life! I adore you more and more as the years pass. My heart would crumble into a million pieces if I had to live without you. I thank my lucky stars and the greatest tender mercy of all to have you. Life with you just keeps getting better and better! I love you.

2011-07-24T01:25:00.003-05:00

Samantha is growing up SO fast. Alicen was very sweet and did a fun photo shoot with Sam after the reunion. Sam is usually taking the pictures. It's nice to have a few of her. Now I can finally start filling those frames in our hall! We worked on Personal Progress today. She's on track to finish in the next 6 months. Just in time to start helping Rebekah with hers. I can't believe life is moving this fast! I will only have 3 left in primary.

Gratitude Journal:

1. Trials that create in me an awareness of others and compassion towards my fellowman.

2. Inspired men & women that lead by example and with boldness.

3. The constant reminder to turn to the Lord and trust in Him.

4. An eternal companion with the same goals.

5. The gospel of Jesus Christ... it's the perfect parenting guide!

2011-07-24T01:06:00.004-05:00

June 1st...

Porter started the summer off a bit rough! He had his tonsils and adenoids removed. The poor little guy came home from the hospital & was neglected. He was such a sport. I can't tell you how many times I forgot to give him his pain meds. I also didn't realize he was suppose to lay on the couch for 48 hours... he was way to active those first couple days. Thankfully, everything healed quickly and he was back to normal within the 2 weeks, just in time for the family reunion fun!

2011-07-24T00:39:00.002-05:00

The other day I was in a "Y E S" mom mood. Everything the kids asked to do I said yes to. I'm not sure what go into me? It was a fabulous day! I need to be the "YES" mom more often. Rebekah and Isabelle made loaves & loaves of zucchini bread, all by themselves. Porter created all kinds of inventions. They ended the day with a movie. Porter looked at me and said, "You say yes to EVERYTHING today! This is the best day ever! I love you mom." I wish I had more days like this. So often I get caught up in the worry of messes. The girls cleaned up after themselves, Porter put his creative tools away and what's a little bit of this or a little bit of that left around after a FABULOUS day?! My goal for the rest of the summer... (again!) become the YES mom.

2011-07-24T00:18:00.003-05:00

Seasons are changing around here. I am leaving the days of surviving until bedtime, sending the children to bed and enjoying a bit of me time. They are needing more of "me" time in the evenings. Rebekah needs more time to snuggle and talk. Sam and Casey want more time spent giggling and talking with me. I'm realizing I need to manage my time during the day much better to fill the needs in the evenings. It was bitter sweet the other night. Rebekah was so tired, she climbed into bed a little upset. I asked if she wanted me to stay, she just shrugged. I sat by her bed rubbing her neck and hair. She began to cry. She cried for a while. There wasn't much said just time together. I still had a hundred things on my list to do that night... 99 went undone. I stayed with her until she was about to fall asleep, then promised to come back and check on her. I'm not sure why those few words are so comforting... "I'll come back and check on you." Casey was at scout camp for 10 days. Porter kept asking when he was coming home. I was so excited to see him and have him home today. He is one that needs more of my time. I love his sweet, fun personality. Sam and I have had a few really good heart to hearts. Sam is cursed with a few of my weaknesses. However, she is doing much better than I was even as a young adult! I am so proud of who she is becoming. I love watching her spend time and value her little sisters. She has such a great heart. I love that we are talking more and enjoying that time together. Isabelle loves Samantha like crazy & desperately wants her big sisters approval & time! They've been watering for the neighbor together. Isabelle comes back beaming each evening. She and Sam went for an evening swim Thursday night. There are moments when everything seems so right... they are only moments but I cherish them!

2011-07-03T00:08:00.002-05:00

I'm hoping if I title a few posts I still need to write it will motivate me to get them finished...

Summer break, so far!

2011-07-03T00:07:00.001-05:00

Family Reunion

2011-07-03T00:06:00.001-05:00

End of Year Water fight...

From Blogger Pictures

2010 - 2011 School Year ended with a SPLASH! The kids didn’t know what hit them as water balloons splattered and guns sprayed. They ran for ammunition and the war began... parents vs kids. It ended with everyone getting thrown, tossed or pushed into the pool. We enjoyed hamburgers, hot dogs & root beer floats. Everyone had a ball & are enjoying a fun summer.

2011-07-02T23:38:00.003-05:00

Porter was baptized today. It was a great day. Samantha gave a really nice talk. Porter had to be dunked twice... I guess his big brother dared him to pop his foot out of the water! We'll have to get Casey's side of THAT story. He was baptized along with his good friend Carter & Gracie. Grandpa Geddes arrived just in time. We enjoyed a stop at Sonic during Happy Hour for some yummy slushies. Then had Wendy's for a quick dinner followed by a crazy fun slip & slide complements of Uncle Kasey... pictures to come. We ended the day baling water out of our pool! Porter was a great bucket filler...

Gratitude Journal:

Nice people...

the man that is helping me with the pool, he is SO kind

the young men that tested my water this morning even though they didn't open for another hour!

people that care

people that are kind and helpful

I can't believe how many nice people I've dealt with this past week. It makes those crazy out of control days so much more bearable. It makes me want to become one of those people. I want to make others crazy out of control days seem not so bad.

2011-07-02T23:24:00.003-05:00

I prayed for a miracle today... please let the copper levels drop! I knew I was seriously asking for a miracle. I think it came in the form of inspiration. We decided to drain the pool... AGAIN! This will be the 2nd time in 3 days! After draining it the first time the levels went from out of range (+4) down to a 2.5. Still WAY too high. Our girls are sporting the new in color... swimmers green! This is after using our nightly washing ritual... chlorine shampoo mixed with baking soda, followed by tomato paste. Tonight we even added a little vinegar! As we were washing the girls hair and discussing the situation... the entire ward is coming out Monday for the church 4th of July party. We decided to empty the pool again. It's draining & I am figuring time frames. Will we have enough time to pump the water out and refill it plus add the necessary chemicals BEFORE Monday at 3PM? As we discuss the different options somehow baling comes into the conversation. It's how we emptied our pool growing up. Everyone got a bucket and baled... throwing the water over the edge. It worked great. We decided to try it. In an hour we emptied what took the pump 3-4 hours on Thursday. I'm sure we'll all be sore tomorrow! 2 hoses are refilling the pool now, hopefully giving us more time to add the needed chemicals.

2011-07-02T23:05:00.002-05:00

So many posts... so little time!

Thursday...

5:45 up & dressed to take Sam in for CC running club & a run for myself with Jeanie.

7:45 pick Sam up... she's not back yet, run to grocery store

7: 55 pick Sam up

8:00 get oil changed in truck

8:10 try to start truck after getting oil change... WON'T start! Starter is shot.

8:15 nice men push us out of garage bay.

8:20 Jeanie picks us up

8: 25 Stop by the local garage to see what it would charge to tow it the 1 mile... $60!

8:40 Jeanie drops us at home to pick up the suburban to tow the truck to the shop.

8:55 Jeanie & I tow the truck... She drives the suburban, I steer the truck with OUT power steering or brakes!

9:30 Drop off truck, pick up van, drop of Suburban then home with Jeanie.

10:30 Home, tidy up... people are coming over to swim at 11... the pool is a mess! Copper levels are out of range!

11:30 leave for pool store with water samples

12:00 levels are still way high, I have to drain the pool.

(all of our cars tags expire today also! they each need an inspection before I can register them!)

1:00 I get home & start draining the pool & fixing the liner. The kids keep playing in the pool as the water level drops. They have a ball touching in the deep end! Jeanie & my hands end up raw from fixing the liner.

4:00 over half the water is emptied.

4:30 we wash all the girls hair.

5:00 Jeanie heads home & drops me to pick up the suburban. (the truck is still at the shop! we haven't had a minute to pick it up.

5:30 arrive home, the last of the kids leave from the play date.

6:00 we start scrubbing the pool steps

6:45 Ryan is suppose to be home 15 minutes ago. I have a meeting in 15 minutes

7:00 I meet Ryan as I drive to my meeting

8:30 I meet Ryan and the kids at DQ... they've been great through out the past few CRAZY days.

10:00 tuck everyone in, check on the pool & fall into bed!

We have expired plates, a half filled pool, messy house, but the ice-cream was delicious!

Real Men

2011-06-23T16:56:00.005-05:00

Porter, Casey and I were spending the day afternoon together running errands. Casey hasn't been able to run for the past several months due to foot pains but has been riding his bike on the road instead. I challenged him to ride bikes with me around the 4 wheeler trails in the front yard. I told him real men ride mountain bikes. Porter, fresh off his Harry Potter Lego set for his birthday, quickly chimed in, "No, real men play with Legos". We all got a kick out of this. We'll see if this interest ever fades.

Ryan

2011-06-19T22:28:00.004-05:00

Happy Birthday Porter!

Aunt Eileen & Aunt Joleen made him a Baptismal Towel! He was VERY excited.

The kids decided to pool their money and buy Porter a gift with Mom & Dad. Porter was ecstatic as he opened his gift and realized what it was. This kid loves Lego's & Harry Potter... he's not seen any of the movies or read the books but...

Gratitude Journal:

1. Family, good or crazy... family is family

2. Amazing weather this past week. The kids had a ball with all their cousins. 50 family members for a week... lots of good times!

3. A personal chef for the week... Grandma's cooking is the best.

4. Ryan took the week off, it was wonderful having him around.

5. Getting back to normal... tomorrow will be a work day. I'm looking forward to a very quiet, uneventful summer.

2011-06-08T11:04:00.000-05:00

A walk down Memory Lane...

Sam 6.5, Casey 4, Rebekah 3.5, Isabelle 1.8, Porter

The kids started watching old family videos while Uncle Aaron was here. It's a little bitter sweet. As I watched, memories came flooding back. They weren't of the kids or the memories on those videos. As Aaron & I sat talking one night I sadly admitted I don't remember a lot of those memories... Casey so fixated on Porter, he kept asking me, "dat kute mom, dat kute?" Sam was merrily jumping on the trampoline with not a care in the world. Izy smacked a smiling Rebekah on the head because her bike wouldn't go. While Porter toddled around, stick in hand! Things haven't changed much! 2003 was a ruff year. I cried all 365 days. It started when I found out I was pregnant with Porter. There was NO way I could handle another child at that point. I didn't tell anyone about the pregnancy until it was almost over. I kept thinking maybe something would happen & I would loose the baby. The guilt of wanting that & the reality of another baby coming was too much. When the doctor put him in my arms I cried, it was at that moment the pregnancy became a reality! The thought of taking him home was too overwhelming. I just knew I couldn't do it. So, home we went. Ryan drove us home then left for work! That first year was a blur. I don't remember a lot, just a lot of crying. Sitting on my kitchen floor sobbing, pleading for help. Most of my day was consumed with dreaming of running my car into a tree or other morbid thoughts. I know it was a loving Heavenly Father that kept me from tripping over that line I kept walking in 2003. Memorial Day weekend we took a trip to Texas. We stopped in Arkansas for a few days. It was then I found myself sitting in the bathroom cutting into my abdomen "I hate you". I was so dead inside. I hated everything about me. Ryan was consumed with work, church & 5 kids. Let's not mention the crazy wife! On to Texas... we ended up in a fight & it was a tense weekend. Kids were throwing up & I was hitting rock bottom. When we got home I was so numb. I remember watching Porter, almost a year old, toddling around on the patio. There was a pool out there. I watched & remember thinking, "If he fell in & drowned would I feel anything?" It was that night I met Ryan at the door humiliated & said, "Write me a script or something bad is going to happen." I took the meds until I started having nightmares. It gave me a little time to get over the hump & thinking straight. Then...

From Memory Lane

Sam 8.5, Casey 7, Rebekah 5.5, Isabelle 4, Porter 2, Victoria

One afternoon a friend was over for dinner with the missionaries. I wasn't feeling well & she asked if I was pregnant. I laughed, there was NO WAY we could be pregnant. If there was 1 thing I was sure of THAT was it. A couple days later I started thinking of dates & bought a pregnancy test... Victoria was on her way. At least my hormones leveled out for the nine months. I felt happy, normal again. Except when I was nauseous & vomiting... 24/7 for 5 1/2 months! It was way better than postpartum! She arrived and 4 weeks later we were set to move to Ohio. Packing up a house with a brand new baby is not ideal. It worked. 4 weeks of boxes, babies, not a lot of Ryan & we were ready to go. The kids and I moved 2 1/2 months before Ryan. He kept driving back to KY for an additional 4 months to help out. We didn't see him a lot. The kids school schedule changed. It made mornings better & we managed. I started feeling myself slipping again. This time I wasn't going to put my kids through that mess again. I made an appointment sure he would send me home with a script... I was getting bad again. He didn't. I was amazed at how much better I began feeling as I talked with him & completed the assignments he gave me. He's a behavioral cognitive therapist. I've always said I'm crazy, isn't that half the battle... recognizing the obvious?! So, he changed my life by helping me change the way I saw things & thought. He helped me work through issues & figure out things that sooth & calm me. Loud music in a car with screaming kids takes the edge off. Leaving the spilt milk to clean up later WON'T kill me! I still have my moments, but I have a lot more tools to use...

Those days come & go, days I am a horrible mother, fat & ugly. Each day, each experience gives me new opportunities to grow and become better. As we ate Rice Crispy Ice Cream for dinner tonight I looked at my kids with such amazement. They are incredible. I don't know what we would do if they weren't all here with us. I am so blessed to have them. They teach me new things everyday... sometimes it takes a few times around before finally getting it. But, I love them like crazy & the man that helped me create them.

2011-06-07T11:43:00.000-05:00

"Our ultimate purpose in life is not physical; it is spiritual. It is to come to know God and Jesus Christ whom he has sent. That is what Christ the Lord said when he began his great prayer in Gethsemane. The gospel is given to us so that we can be guided to the objective given us—to know the Father and the Son. It is as though he said to me, “Son, here is a map and a compass. You are at this spot, and your objective is to reach this other spot. You can do it quickly, or you can take a long time. The sooner you do it, the happier you will be."

--Elder S. Dilworth Young

I fear I may be taking the scenic route!

2011-05-28T21:24:00.004-05:00

Introspection is the self-observation and reporting of conscious inner thoughts, desires and sensations. It is a conscious and purposive process relying on thinking, reasoning, and examining one's own thoughts, feelings, and, in more spiritual cases, one's soul.

It's been a long month. I'm exhausted & feel horrible. I'm emotional & not a lot of fun to be around. I haven't run in 2 weeks & I have the 1/2 marathon next Saturday. I've toyed with the idea of not running it. I don't want to see the crappy time I run at the end! One thought is, "Do it, see how you do. See what you can make your body do." Then the next thought is,"Why? You're going to run a HORRIBLE time! FAILURE!" Hmmm, which one to listen too. Let's see if I have an ounce of positive today...

Gratitude Journal

1. Family... they take the good & the ugly.

2. Time... it always makes things better.

3. Agency... we always have a choice.

4. Acceptance... it's nice to feel loved.

5. School Journals... 2 entries I found today in Porter's 1st grade journal.

I love to give gifts to other people because...

I feel the holy ghoste win I give and it makes me remember the good smaretins. It makes me happy. It makes me have a warm feleing. It makes me have the holday speeit. (holiday spirit)

My Christmas wish for my family is...

A puppy becus our dog diyd last munth. And a wii game and lots of sno. And ouw family to be happy and all of us to go to hevin agin. I want us to be nise.

2011-05-28T21:03:00.005-05:00

Audrey's Kindergarten Graduation!

Uncle Aaron came for a visit! The kids were so excited. They had a fun filled week of throwing fits and fighting. Each day someone took their turn at having a bad day. No such luck fooling Aaron into thinking we have the "perfect" family. NO, he got to see us up close & personal this week... moody mom & all! He professed to have a good time... he IS a good liar! When not throwing fits the kids enjoyed skipping school, swimming & playing. We had a fabulous trip to DQ, Uncle Aaron's treat! The kids LOVE spending time with him. He is such fun to have around. While here he helped paint, move a very HEAVY playground set, a trampoline... to multiple locations, collect rain water, paint some more, & miscellaneous other tasks. That's what happens when Aunt Jeanie comes around... busy, busy, busy! Without her I wouldn't get much accomplished... sorry Aaron! We are looking forward to the day he calls and tells us he's taking some lucky girl to the temple. Until then, the nieces & nephews stake their claim on his heart! We love you!!!!!

2011-05-28T20:28:00.005-05:00

Downtown KC on May 24, 2011

We've had a week of major storms! Ryan bought a couple 300 gallon water barrels. He ran the gutters into them. After 1 storm we had 600+ gallons of water! Unfortunately, another storm was approaching & 1 barrel wasn't cooperating! We siphoned (I was pleasantly surprised at the clean taste of rain water) off the water into buckets & then the yard so the water wouldn't overflow & run down the foundation. One didn't empty fast enough & we were stuck in a down pour. Water was gushing everywhere! I could just see the water flowing onto the basement patio & then into the house! Here's where the FUN begins...

I try to put the gutter back together with random pieces... NONE of them are working. Ryan is standing in the garage... he's learned in situations like these to just keep his distance. The rain is an absolute down pour. It's SO cold! In 30 seconds I am soaked through. I've never seen that amount of water gushing out of a gutter. I'm pinching the gutters to fit inside each other. My brother Aaron is visiting... he's thinking he should come help me but then both of us would be soaked & there's not much more he could do. At one point I clench my fists & let out a nice "rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"! It's not so cold anymore. A few more minutes & everything is working. Aaron throws me a towel, I attempt to dry off. No such luck, I drip my way to the shower, peel off my second layer of "skin" & enjoy a nice hot shower. A video would be much more entertaining... maybe next time!

2011-05-14T20:45:00.002-05:00

Pollen, pollen go away.

Never come back ANY day.

Poor Jonnette just wants to breathe!!!

Anyone having the pleasure of seeing me during allergy season will attest to the fact that I am a walking snot bomb waiting to explode & talking as if I have a clothespin stuck on my nose. The other day Porter answered me with his nose pinched... laughing as he made fun of my voice. I am DYING!!! Mascara is worn on an emergency basis ONLY! My eyes itch, burn & "leak" constantly. Medicine, you say... Yes, I am taking a pill, using eye drops, a nose mist & utilizing a Netti pot daily! Every year I let myself believe it's not going to be that bad. Then it starts & I remember just how horrible I feel. I should never have signed up for a race in the spring. Note to self, never run a spring race again! I don't sleep & when I do it's not a good sleep. Long story short, I feel HORRIBLE & am getting little sleep.

So, the other night Ryan is trying to get the tiller hooked up to the tractor. It wasn't connecting properly. I go out to help. I adjust a couple things & it goes right on. However, we can't get the PTO connected. I try a couple times standing up. I DO NOT want to lay down in the grass... it's what is making me MISERABLE. Did I mention I get hives after I run/work up a sweat?! I'm laying in the grass working on this thing & it won't go! Ryan can't read my mind so is not the best assistant. Something falls into my already irritated eyes. My hands are covered in grease as well as part of my clothing. I am so frustrated. I pull the PTO apart, get the arm attached but can't put it back on to the tiller. I unattached it, put it back together then reattach the PTO. Everything fits this time. I'm climbing back out from under the tractor & Ryan says to Casey, "You better marry a girl that knows how to do this." I snarl, "He better LEARN to do this!" I see Ryan's countenance fall. I know he feels very inadequate fixing things. I say, "I didn't marry you because you were handy." He doesn't say anything back. I climb up on the tractor take his face in my hands & say, "I am tired & miserable which makes me very grouchy. I didn't marry you because you were handy." He replies, "You didn't know I wasn't handy." I say the same thing again, "I didn't marry you because you were handy" & add an "I love you!" & a kiss. How I would love to have a handy man around. However, I wouldn't trade Ryan for a million handymen. He is what makes life bearable when everything is falling down around me. He is who lets me sleep a little longer when he's home in the mornings. He is who will do ANYTHING I ask, if I just ask. He is the love of my life... handy or not!

2011-05-08T02:20:00.003-05:00

Today began at 3:30AM. I woke Sam up at 4AM & the pie making began. We delivered her last pie at 9:45AM.

From Spring Fun

Then off to the Winter Quarters Temple with Casey for a youth temple trip. I came home and crashed for a bit. Ryan woke me up, he had to run & pick-up a couple 300 gallon water tanks... gardening/fruit trees! The kids & I decided to open the pool. It was the perfect day. The kids threw their swimsuits on & in they went... 60* water & a lot of yuck! The didn't seem to mind either. I needed 2 parts to get the filter running. The Lord's hand in my life... the little hardware store in Platte City stays open until 7pm on Saturday night! They had both parts I needed!!

From Spring Fun

I picked Sam & Casey up in town then ran to the hardware store. Casey was excited to help clean the pool. We fixed the filter & turned it on... water goes EVERYWHERE!! The seal on the slide burst. We turn it off, I go over and put it back together then have Casey turn it back on. Everything thing seems fine until I open the valve on the slide... water is EVERYWHERE again & ALL over me. Casey is laughing hysterically calling out he wished he had it on tape! He turns it off. I look around & realize I had all the filter holes still plugged. We open them all up & everything runs smoothly. We didn't finish the pool & hot tub until 9:30PM. The kids were WONDERFUL. Sam put Victoria to bed at 7PM. Everyone else scrubbed, played, splashed, etc. We all had a great evening. I was so happy to have company while getting everything ready for this summer. I miss my pool man, unfortunately that cute man was working. Go figure! I can't complain. I loved the time spent outside today/tonight with everyone. Rebekah, Isabelle & Porter decided to catch frogs.

From Spring Fun

I'm not a huge fan of amphibians. However, our kids LOVE them. As I finished up with the pool, listening to them giggle & play I thought, "I can't imagine a more perfect place to be." I love everything about this place. It's as if Heavenly Father took every little one of my heart's desires and put it on these 13 acres. It really is my little piece of Heaven. So, the pool is running. The hot tub is clean and warming as I type. The kids have planned their Monday afternoon swim. The hot tub always helps temper the freezing cold pool water.

From Spring Fun

Gardening Update

2011-05-07T11:00:00.000-05:00

Preface (this post is in blue since author is Ryan, I'll ask Jonnette to add some photos).

We have tried our hand at gardening this Spring. In the process we have learned many things already and are still in the process of solving other challenges. I am open for suggestions and help.

1. Fruit Trees (we'll start with the positive). We have planted 14 trees, from a variety of apples, peaches, cherries, and plums. So far all are growing well. I have been told by many that the challenge will be keeping them watered once the Missouri summer is here. So far we have had some practice sessions. Options are hoses, buckets, or a drip line system. The trees are about 500 feet away from the water faucet so for cost saving we have opted for the bucket. Wednesday is watering day. So far the kids have been good helpers. Yesterday Casey filled up buckets with water from the stream and I loaded them into the truck. At five gallons a tree they fill up faster than the faucet. We envision a loading dock in the stream consisting of wooden pallets tied together and sand bags so the other kids can help fill the buckets and safely walk to the grass. We'll keep you posted. Long term plan would be a pump from the stream for the entire garden, trees, berries and lawn. I've already exceeded my allowance from Jonnette so this may be a few years down the road, maybe after my cheap labor is gone.

2. Raspberries. Red raspberries are doing well. We have about 15 plants and neighboring rows plowed up and getting ready to add more next year. Casey helped me install a dry line with the hose connecting to 1/2 inch PVC with a hole drilled at each berry. Hopefully this will work during the summer months. The black raspberries we ordered look to be dying but Grandma Adamson brought some with her her last visit and they are flourishing without much care. We may have to put in another order. We'll find out next year if the birds are a problem. Options for keeping them out are a lot of scarecrows or netting.

3. Blueberries. We realized after they arrived that they require an acidic soil so the three bushes are trying to survive in pots until the row is ready for next year. Ammonium Sulfate will hopefully lower the pH. I planted some buckwheat in the rows which we'll till up and re plant a couple times this summer as "green manure".

4. Strawberries. They started off looking very feeble but seem to be surviving nicely tucked away with straw. Hopefully the 200 plants will make some good strawberry cheese cream pies. I've kept them watered mostly with water from our rain barrels. We may have to look into a drip line system also.

5. Onions/Potatoes/Peas/Lettuce/Radishes. Also doing well. We've actually eaten lettuce and radishes. Thanks again G. Adamson. We may need to stick to these hardier plants.

6. Beans. I didn't plant them soon enough and they got blown away one windy day.

7. Tomatoes/Peppers. I won't say how many plants we had but they are now deceased. They arrived by mail order a month before normal planting time for Missouri. They weren't doing too well inside so we planted them a couple weeks ago. They were doing fine until one cold night in the high 30's. The night of the freeze the spirit whispered, "Cut up that quilt in the garage that you've been trying to take to Goodwill". I wish now I had listened. No more mail orders, we'll buy local next year after the cold. We'll also have to find a lot of burlap sacks for the future. Oh well, at least the weeds didn't win.

Did we bite more than we can handle? We'll see. Hopefully we can do it together as a family and it will be time well spent win or lose.

2011-05-05T23:27:00.002-05:00

First picture of Isabelle's room... it's not quite finished. We need to paint the drawers & shelves. We are planning to hang pictures on the opposite wall.

From Isabelle's room

2011-04-28T21:49:00.006-05:00

Busy, happy days...

Yesterday we decided to change a few things in the girls' rooms. Isabelle and I are over the fairies, butterflies & flowers. She has picked BRIGHT orange, green, yellow & brown (my addition) for her colors... we are really wishing we had Morgan in KC!! Jeanie & I ventured into Home Depot and did a little color hunting. Her bed is now a BRIGHT orange! She loves it. We'll have to post a few pictures as we finish the painting.

Victoria's colors are retro yellow, retro avocado, brown & tealish blue. My mom brought the Holly Hobbie bead spreads we had on our beds growing up the last visit! We pulled Jeanie's bunk beds apart & set them up as 2 twin beds. I think it's going to be adorable & very old fashion looking. I am really excited!

Sam had her last track meet today. I picked the kids up at 3pm & just arrived home at 9:15pm! It was a long afternoon! We had a great time watching everyone run. Casey and Rebekah kept time with watches. An 8th grade boy ran a 5:02 mile & 2:18 half mile. He was a beautiful runner. He ran with such ease. There's something about being at a track meet and watching really talented runners, it's just beautiful. Somehow our kids were put into the 7th grade heats. They spent the first 45 min. reshuffling heats. Unfortunately, a few of the faster kids ended up in the slower heats. Sam beat everyone by a hurdle in her heat but ended up 4th overall. It always helps to run with kids that are faster... you always end up running better yourself. She finished 5th in the 800 & took 12 seconds off her time. Our season is quite short... just about 3 weeks. She signed up for cross country & they start training the first of June... every morning at 6:30AM!! Casey & Rebekah are going to give it a whirl. The H.S. & JR. H. teams will practice together. It was a lot of fun as we spread out around the track to cheer Sam on. Isabelle & Jaycie on one corner; Porter, Victoria & me on another corner; then Casey and Rebekah down the last stretch. I love how they are all cheer like crazy for her. It's the same when the kids are playing soccer and Sam is calling out instructions... "cross it, down the line, get in the box, etc." It was a crazy fast day & it's completely over but a good one.

Tomorrow will be the start of a crazy fast weekend... more painting, a few extra kids, fun, tears (I'm sure), soccer & lots of laughs. THEN... it's MAY!!! Where did Jan. - April go? I'll be 40 & not even remember my final year in the 30's. Who knew 40 would have so much potential... Sam starts High School & Victoria Kindergarten. A temple within 30 minutes & maybe just maybe a couple cows (to eat, no milking yet!)

Gratitude Journal

1. Samantha... I love the look of satisfaction on her face & that she holds her little sister's hand at her track meets. I'm not sure how long she'll enjoy having us as her cheering section but I am going to enjoy it immensely while it lasts.

2. Casey... He's such an enjoyable boy. I love chatting with him in the front seat as we drive to track meets, home from school & anywhere else.

3. Rebekah... She is such a busy bee in the morning. I assigned her the hardest job because I knew she would get to it each morning. The kitchen is so clean & tidy as she walks out for school each morning.

4. Isabelle... She's so kind hearted. Victoria climbed into bed with her last night wanting to snuggle... Isabelle let her in & snuggled up with her. She's always quick to apologize & just as quick to forgive.

5. Porter... Is the cutest thing ever. Yesterday he asked if he could take his backpack out & read in the grass. He climbed the wood pile & walked the length of it on top of the logs. He sat a while, then moved to the grass. He read outside all afternoon.

6. Victoria... 1 of a kind!!! She puts the perfect finishing touch on our family. I love her cute plump cheeks & wild fashion sense. She will always keep me shaking my head amid laughter.

2011-04-24T10:10:00.003-05:00

PIES PIES PIES...

What a weekend! I would have to say it was a bigger success than I had hoped. The totals ended up like this....

Samantha $248

Casey $5

Rebekah $71

Isabelle $5

Porter $6

Victoria $10

The kids earned $1 per pie ordered from their school. Isabelle and Porter had to split their sales. Sam & Rebekah earned profits from the pies they made. Sam & I were up at 4AM. Jeanie arrived soon after. Sam is one lucky girl. I don't know too many aunts that would get up at that hour to help their niece make pies. We started delivering pies by 8:30AM. All our neighbors had their pies by 9:15AM. We would have been delivering all the pies by 10AM except I left off 2 orders & had to bake 2 more crusts & then wait for them to cool. Sam whipped a couple pies too long & had to remake them. However the whipped topping wasn't ready & again we had to wait. It was a good learning experience. Now we know to ALWAYS bake a few extra crusts & never whip the strawberry cream cheese pie filling too long! I hope everyone loved their pies and will order again. I love that the kids are learning to work and earn money. It's hard at those early ages to find jobs. Porter wanted to make sure ALL of his money went into his mission fund. All the money earned goes directly to college/mission (after tithing of course). Sam is allowed to pay for EFY. She needs to earn $200 more for next years EFY. We had a good conversation about fast offerings. Right now she and Casey pay about 1/2 their allowance to fast offerings because they have other means of income. She was figuring how much she potentially will make from her babysitting job this summer & asked what she should pay in fast offerings. She asked if she should pay $10 for every $20 she earns. I had to laugh inside. If everyone was that generous there would be NO poor or needy ever in need. We talked about taking someone out to a REALLY nice restaurant for 2 meals, etc. I explained that she would have to come up with that on her own but that she really wasn't making THAT much money. She looked at me a little shocked & replied, "That's a lot of money to me!" It led into a conversation about always putting the Lord first and caring for those in need. We talked about the blessing that come from keeping those commandments. She recognized she had already been blessed with this babysitting job. We talked about when she becomes a mom & has a young family. The blessing of always having your NEEDS met. Maybe not always your wants but always the needs of your family. I hope she gains a strong testimony of this now that will carry her through out her life.

GRATITUDE JOURNAL:

1. Grandma's (Mom's) pie recipes... they are OH so YUMMY!

2. Grandma's (Mom's) "You can do anything" attitude.

3. Grandma's (Mom's) financial support... thanks for the tins, boxes & whipped topping!

4. Grandma's (Mom's) love & encouragement.

5. Grandma (Mom)... without you & your example life would not be the same. You taught me to work hard, pay my tithing, take care of others & give your best!

Visit from Grandma...

2011-04-24T09:55:00.002-05:00

My mom had a couple days off so she packed her car full of plants and treasures and drove the 7 hours to spend two and a half days with us. She worked & worked & worked. Ryan loves all the help she gives him with the garden and berries. The kids love having grandma around. She knows just what each one of them are in need of & just how to love them in the perfect way. She is amazing. She would do anything to make my life easier. She has such a crazy busy schedule yet she spent hours digging up plants to bring to us. I'm sure it would be easier to stay home and catch up on things around her own home yet she comes and does every last article of laundry before she goes home. She tucked me in bed the last night after rubbing my feet. I had this overwhelming feeling of gratitude towards her. When she comes I KNOW the kids are in good hands. I KNOW there will always be something to eat. I KNOW she will handle all the upset, angry kids in the perfect way. I KNOW I can completely shut down & she will pick up all the pieces happily. She is the best mom I could ever ask for. I love her so much & hope she will KNOW that I KNOW she is amazing and wonderful & love her ALWAYS.

2011-04-20T21:23:00.002-05:00

Pie making begins in the morning for our 1st round of pies... Rebekah gets to stay home & make 8 pies for teachers wanting them before Easter Break. Sam has a track meet so she will be in bed when Rebekah & I get up at 4AM! Grandma arrived last night. She's been busy planting all the fun plants she brought with her. Ryan is loving all the black raspberry plants (black caps) she dug for him. Hopefully, we all get to see Sam run tomorrow. It's suppose to be rainy. She's very excited about her pie business. She has sold over 50 pies for Easter. We will have a VERY early & BUSY Saturday morning.

2011-04-16T22:06:00.003-05:00

Great day of soccer. I love watching the kids play. Porter really holds his own. He took a hard ball to the gut today as well as a swift kick to his ankle... he has the cleat marks to show for it. Isabelle has improved the most. I love watching her chase down the ball never thinking twice about the size of the other person. She is a great defender and with Casey feeding her the ball is becoming a fine forward. Rebekah is all over the place from goalie to forward & everything in between. There isn't much that ever gets by her. Casey is fun to watch. He gets through traffic with such ease. I wish they had a Jr. High team. His goal is to play H.S. soccer. I'm sure if he conditions well and keeps practicing his foot skills he'll be fine. After the games were over we hung around and played a couple games. Casey, Izy, Jaycie & Ryan vs. Sam, Rebekah & me. It was a lot of fun. Sam still wants to play H.S. soccer. The H.S. camp is the week of girls camp. Hopefully, she'll condition well and make the team. I missed 1 run this week but ended up getting 24 miles in. Ryan pulled something in his calf and can't run much. Hopefully it heals fast. It's nice having him run with me. Grandma is coming on Tuesday! The kids are so excited. She'll get to watch Sam run at her last track meet... yes, the season just started & is now over this week??! Days like these are moments to cherish. It started out in the arms of an amazing man & ended laughing as Casey & I did P90X Yoga.

Gratitude Journal:

1. Soccer... it's fun!

2. Kids... they make me laugh!

3. Music... it puts the fun in me.

4. Life... it is amazing.

5. Ryan... he is my everything.

2011-04-14T23:12:00.002-05:00

I delivered pies to each of the kids' schools today. A little edible advertisement can never hurt! The principals were extremely kind and supportive. Rebekah's teachers made sure we didn't put it in the teachers lounge until they finished their recess duty. Sam's principal emailed all the teachers Samantha's information. Victoria's asst. principal ordered 4 strawberry cream cheese pies for their in service meeting tomorrow. I think this might work. Everyone that has tried the pies love them. We've already decided that all money will go into their college fund or EFY fund.

Samantha ran in her 1st track meet. She had the best hurdle form by far. She did really well in her 800 also. Being at the track brings back so many memories & emotions. It was fun as we all sat cheering her on. She really wants to better her time in the 800 & is going to add a couple miles to her day.

Gratitude Journal:

1. Cousin - Siblings I think Tyler will grow up thinking he has 2 big brothers & a whole bunch of sisters that love him dearly.

2. Family support

3. Goodness of others

4. Look of success on my kids' face... Sam running, Casey getting into the H.S. Algebra I class, Rebekah selling pies for Sam, Isabelle leading her class in book series read, Porter getting 3 WOW's at school today & Victoria dressing just the way she likes for school... swimming suit top over her shirt today!

5. My wonderful life... crazy kids & all!

2011-04-12T20:26:00.003-05:00

Samantha is running track & loving it. Her first track meet is Thursday.

Casey is playing soccer & is in heaven. Hopefully we can get the league to include 7th & 8th graders next year. Otherwise, he has to wait until High School.

Rebekah spilled her teachers coffee all over his desk... he told her that hasn't happened in 3 years! He then asked if her mom was making any strawberry pie?

Isabelle comforted her little brother as he wiped away the tears walking into school... thanks to a grouchy mom. She is also becoming quite the soccer player.

Porter is struggling. He needs more positives and less grouches! He is the only 1st grader on a 3rd - 6th grade team & holding his own very well.

Victoria is as cute as ever. I love her little personality. I need to embrace it more and explain it less to teachers & adults. She is who she is & hopefully grows up very confident in that.

Ryan is spending us into the poor house! Surprising? Yes! However, all his toys... I mean tools are pricey. Who knew he could spend money so well!

Jonnette is trying to prepare for a half marathon by June 4th. 10 miles today with a lot of hills... I am beat!

Gratitude Journal

1. Water... I was sweating pure salt today!

2. Casey's help... watering all our fruit trees.

3. Isabelle's kind heart.

4. Perspective... it's always changing.

5. Ice Cubes... 6 ice cubes in a Ziploc bag sitting in plain sight. I was so hungry before running out to pick up Victoria & Casey. I didn't have time to fix anything so I made a protein shake. I pushed the ice button & nothing came out. I opened the freezer to look in the ice box & there was a small piece of ice stuck, jamming the ice maker. I looked down & there was the Ziploc bag of ice. Just the amount I needed. What a sweet blessing. So many times there are those little things through out the day that let me know I have a Heavenly Father that loves me and cares... even about the little things.

2011-04-09T21:21:00.005-05:00

Sam off to a church dance...

the Spring Formal

(the wind was blowing like crazy... not such great pictures)

Dress... $25

Shoes... $3

Jacket... $25

Necklace & Earrings... borrowed

Having Aunt Jeanie to shop with Sam & fix her hair... PRICELESS!!!!

I don't think I could raise teenagers without Aunt Jeanie & Uncle Kasey around. They lighten the mood and put things into perspective SO very well!!

2011-04-09T07:36:00.003-05:00

What does a goldfish and earthworm have in common? They both have visited Casey's stomach and intestines! Last night at the YW Cake Auction they had fishbowls with goldfish on the tables. Casey pulled one out of the bowl & down it went. His Uncle Kasey gave him a dollar. His friend Grant held out for $3... from his mom! Poor Carter couldn't get anyone to give him money. No one wanted a 7 year old swallowing a fish! They were trying to pool their money for the auction. Everything was way above their meager collection. After a few desserts were auctioned off & the boys bidding their meager amounts I took pity on them. We had decided to spend a certain amount for the night. I handed Casey half of it. He and his friends had a great time bidding and out bidding a couple adults. It was fun to watch them all agree on what they wanted then the bidding would begin. I think they bid a couple times in a row upping the price themselves. It was just as cute to watch them loose. They knew how much they had left after paying a big price for the ice-cream sundae basket. They would bid up to that amount then have to watch it go to someone else. They did win some lemon cupcakes and spider man cupcakes. As soon as they won they were distributed to anyone who wanted one. It was the highlight of the night for me. I loved watching the big group of kids win with such excitement. The YW did a really nice job. Sam fell into bed exhausted! They all had tables to wait on. They were running in & out all night. I'm sure it was a good experience for them. The ward was extremely generous, the fundraiser was a huge success.

2011-04-05T20:36:00.003-05:00

Last night was one of THOSE nights. Casey lost it. I mean REALLY lost it. I heard the crying & went to see if he was okay. He kept yelling at me to go away. Most the time if I can get him to his bed and lay down with him he begins to calm down. Not so. He just kept screaming "go away, I said go away." I go back up to my bed. He comes upstairs & is still crying. I leave it be until I hear something hitting the chair. I go out & ask him what he is doing. He's hitting the chair arm with his hand. "Why do you want to know?" he asks. "I just want to make sure you aren't hurting yourself." "GO AWAY!!!" he screams. "If you need me I am in my room. I love you." He screams back, "I DON'T NEED YOU, GO AWAY!" I go back to my room & climb into bed. The tears well up behind my eyes then spill over. My heart aches for him & there is nothing he will let me do. I lay in bed a mess. Ryan slides over puts his arms around me & says, "I need you." The tears kept coming. I hear something hitting the doors. Casey has thrown all the pillows off the couch and is kicking them. I give him 3 options... 1. go to his bed and stay. 2. go to my bed and stay. 3. go to the hospital and "stay". As the screaming and crying continues I let him know if he doesn't decide Dad is taking him to the hospital and he will be checked in. No one wants to get checked into the Psych ward! He chooses to get in our bed. It's now 11:30PM. Ryan heads up to Victoria's bed... he needs some sleep before getting up at 5:30. Casey is all over the place from I don't get to do anything, you don't do anything fun with me, I can't do anything because you take my priveledges, & ON & On & on! After about 15 min. I snuggle up to him & put my arms around him. I rub his back a little and he begins to settle down. We finally both fall asleep.

here there everywhere

2011-03-30T20:17:00.004-05:00

Life of leisure vs. life of work! I think we've chosen the latter. Ryan planted the raspberries. Jeanie & I planted 200 strawberry plants as well as 4 peach, 2 pear, 2 plum, & 6 apple trees. (The cherry trees are on their way.) It was a lot of fun digging holes with my little sister. We laughed like we were kids. Casey drove the truck down to the wood pile and brought a load to the house. I find he's much more willing to help when I take time with him. The past week or so I've tried really hard to verbalize my appreciation to him and also make a lot of physical contact. He's teased a LOT less than normal. He loves getting his feet rubbed. Every night he asks. I've built in time at the end of the evening to spend 10 minutes with each child. I rub their feet, back, read or just snuggle. It's nice having friends that remind you to take time for the little things. My hands ache by the end of the night but everyone is very happy which makes for a happy momma! The minute Porter gets home from school he's yelling, "Can I go to the creek?" He'd live down there if I let him. He always brings home his treasures... which always consist of a FEW big sticks. "DON'T burn THESE. Okay mom." I made the mistake of breaking a few and tossing them in as kindling. I love watching them play outdoors. We cut down a couple trees around the garden. Rebekah & I hauled them over to the corner of the wood pile. She played on those trees all afternoon. I was throwing a few pine trees Ryan dug up into the truck. Casey was driving the truck up the lane while I tossed them in. Next thing I see is Victoria hopping out of the truck running to grab the little pines. It was the cutest thing. The trees were about the size of her if not a bit bigger. She hauled them right over to the truck and tossed them over the side. I'm slowly learning to see the bigger picture... which I'm sure is still a tiny bit of an even bigger picture. We really are here to help each other. The biggest way I see myself doing that right now is accepting people just the way they are & loving them. My kids especially. Especially when they yell at me and scream and carry on for no apparent reason other than they don't like how the day is going or how they are feeling. It's not like I EVER have THOSE days! I am trying not to take things personally & as I do, taking a step back or in other words a personal time out. This morning was one of those mornings. I got up, said my prayers, read my scriptures, cooked breakfast, woke everyone up & then they all went nutty! Sassy & bossy & grouchy & pouty & ... I should have taken a time out! I should know by now what the pattern is. I make good choices & try to put first things first then all hell breaks loose. Each time I get a little better at handling it. This morning I REALLY wanted to slam a few doors. However, I resisted and only closed 2 a bit firmly... NO slamming! Believe it or not, that is progress. I am so grateful for the gospel in my life. It helps to see things clearer. I am looking forward to this weekend. General Conference is always such a great time to reassess & make new goals for myself as well as a family.

Gratitude Journal:

1. Kids that enjoy working with me.

2. A husband that comes equipped with built in energizer batteries.

3. A sister that helps me see the very best in my energizer bunny. (They are cut from the same cloth.)

4. Work... OUTSIDE work! I LOVE my little bit of heaven.

5. Kids that continue to keep me on my toes and at the very edge of control, never allowing me to grasp it. They continue teaching me what is important & what is fluff! They continue molding me into someone I like better. They are patient with my many weaknesses and are so quick to forgive & love. They will eventually grow up and become functioning adults despite all my mistakes and missteps. I love them more each day.

A few stolen quotes...

2011-03-29T22:14:00.001-05:00

If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.
~Mary Engelbreit

To be upset over what you don’t have is to waste what you do have.
~Ken S. Keyes, Jr.

A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.
~Hugh Downs

2011-03-28T16:13:00.000-05:00

Green acres is the place for me.

Farm livin' is the life for me.

Land spreadin' out so far and wide

Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside!

From spring 2011

2011-03-28T15:45:00.001-05:00

Samantha is trying out a new business venture...

Sam's Pies

click on the link above to view her advertisement.

The Best Pie

Written by Rebekah Geddes

Clink, scriccsh, clink, clink, scriccsh I scrape up the last bit of pie on my plate. My favorite pie is homemade strawberry cream cheese. This pie is the best pie in the whole wide world! My mouth waters just thinking about it. My mom always makes strawberry cream cheese pie when she has pie crust.

Strawberry cream cheese pie is sooooo mouth watering. The pies are always rich, creamy and strawberry. Every bite explodes with flavor in my mouth. My mom usually has extra strawberry topping. I put some extra topping on my pie that my mom doesn’t use.

I may gobble it all up super duper fast. It depends on how many strawberry cream cheese pies my mom has made. If there are multiple pies I might eat fast so I can have another piece. If there is only one pie then I might eat very slowly. I want to enjoy the taste of the appetizing flavor. I might just eat the pie however I feel like eating the strawberry cream cheese pie that day.

Guess what, the strawberry cream cheese pie my mom makes is a confidential recipe! My Grandma Adamson owned a restaurant called the Dutch Diner. She bought it from an Amish family. The recipe was bought with the restaurant. If you become part of the Adamson family you get to know the secret pie recipe! Once you know the secret recipe you are NOT ALLOWED to share the recipe with ANYONE!

I will always enjoy the rich, creamy, strawberry flavor of my favorite pie. I get to know the recipe when I am older because I am an Adamson! Then I can make the BEST PIE in the world for my friends and family. Just like my mom.

2011-03-28T15:43:00.004-05:00

Rain is falling all around

On the rooftops, on the ground.

Rain is falling on my nose

on my head and hands and toes.

2011-03-28T15:30:00.006-05:00

Rebekah Varlene Geddes

Natural High: My Fairyland!

My creek is beautiful. I love to see the swaying green grass. The tall leaning trees reach to the other side. I hear rustling leaves. The gurgling of the creek is music to my ears. This is my fairyland.

My creek is fun. I take off my shoes. I dip my toe in checking the temperature. It's perfect with a hint of cold. O step on the slimy rock floor. I see crawdads scurrying to safety under the rocks. I build a raft and float it down stream. I spend hours exploring and playing in my fairyland.

2011-03-28T15:27:00.004-05:00

Why is the sky so blue and clear?

Why is the robin's song so dear?

Why is the sun so warm and bright,

Filling the earth with glorious light?

Why are the fields so green today

Why do the clouds all float away

Why does my heart with gladness sing?

Only because it's spring!

2011-03-28T14:36:00.004-05:00

It's always fun when Grandpa comes

When grandpa comes, hooray!

He always says the kindest things

And in the kindest way.

He has a wrinkly, twinkly smile

He's happy all the day.

It's always fun for ev'ryone

When Grandpa comes!

2011-03-28T14:33:00.003-05:00

Once there was a snowball

snowball

Once there was a snowball

cold

cold!

From spring 2011

2011-03-28T12:04:00.000-05:00

Sunday, Monday, Happy Days.

Tuesday, Wednesday, Happy Days.

Thursday, Friday, Happy Days.

Saturday, What a day,

Rockin' all week with you.

2011-03-08T17:25:00.003-06:00

Taking Dad caramels at work!

We had watched this comedian the other night. Casey kept saying, "Say 8, say 8." He had to explain it to me... then I remembered.

Enjoy...

SCRIPT -N- GO

du·ty

Daily To Do Lists

A little Halloween fun with Grandpa "Smee"!

A little fun with Grandpa

A few happenings...

What was I thinkin?

My Hero: by Rebekah Geddes

Real Men

Gardening Update

Visit from Grandma...

here there everywhere

A few stolen quotes...